Turn The Page

*peeks head above surface* Anyone still here? Hi! While watching the new Queer Eye, the entirety of Bojack Horseman series one through to five (it's hilarious but traumatic af!) I read the loveliest message from a reader who reminded me that I hadn't made enough of my books available in paperback format.

Well! A bitch has been busy and I have made the following books all available in paperback versions. They're soooo pretty, I can't handle it!

Windows Paperback

On Caristo's Watch Paperback

A Life Sublime Paperback

The Claim Paperback

Best Laid Plans Paperback

Verde Bianco Rosso Paperback

Wynne's Surprise Paperback

Coming Around Again Paperback

Shibah's Monster Paperback

Kissing the Canvas Paperback

It's quite something to hold a paperback instead of flicking over a Kindle. And as much as I love my Kindle, I agree that there's nothing quite like the weight and scent of a delicious paperback.

Happy reading!

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Happy Valentines Day!

You know Hot Muse Hank and I love this time of year. It appeals in every way to my romantic side. All sides of me are romantic I don't know why I pretend to be Miranda when I'm completely Charlotte (still a relevant reference...)

So Valentines Day led up to the wonder of Season of Love, and the three full length stories that have sprung from those mini anthologies:

First Love 

When love is brand new it seems never ending and as intense as the first time you are ever burned. Art and Patricia are surrounded by the pressures of family, friends and exams and yet find the quiet in the storm with each other: http://sobillysaysshesays.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/my-young-man.html

Surprise Love

The love that creeps up on you, grabs you by the passport and takes you to another country is one of the best! Bren sweeps Wynne into a parallel universe where she begins to realise that it was always meant to be the two of them: http://sobillysaysshesays.blogspot.co.uk/2016/05/my-bonnie.html

Renewed Love

The love that sees you at your worst, in your sickness and in your poverty is a love that will surpass a decade, two children, two salons, two mothers in law and a divorce is a love that will see you though everything. Stella and Niels fail and try again to be everything they vowed to be: http://sobillysaysshesays.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/turn-back-time.html

I've got a few more within th volumes to come, they make for easy plotting but Hank needs more persuasion. In the meantime, indulge in the romance! ❤

Second Chance

Nearly missed a book-a-versary! Coming Around Again is a year old! Bless. The hero made me cry. So did the heroine. And their kids. And their grandmother. In between the tears, there's fun and romance and the other sex. If you haven't given it a go, and you'd like to skip the paranormal of the season, let me convince you...

Coming Around Again on Amazon

Excerpt of Strom v Strom 

Will wouldn’t shut up about his brother. Almost as if he was convinced that his mother had done away with him and there was a government conspiracy involved in Danny’s disappearance. He ate dinner, talking through mouthfuls of mashed potato, peas, and grilled fish to explain his theory.

Stella’s mind was on getting her suede shoes professionally cleaned and the wrinkle of disgust on the bank manager’s nose as he barely agreed to the loan for the second salon.

The phone rang and Will leapt to answer it in the dining room. “Strøm!” he announced. “Dad!”

Stella rolled her eyes, then remembered her other child was being watched by the Prick. The very least she could do was make sure her son still breathed.

“Yeah,” Will continued. “Muma’s here. I’m fine. Yeah, he yacked and everything. No school? That’s not fair. Okay, I suppose. Love you too, Dad.” He handed out the phone to Stella, a wide grin on his face. With tar-like discomfort rolling through her, Stella collected the phone.

“How did your meeting go?” he asked, sarcasm rolling through his deep voice.

“Really well, thank you for asking. How’s my son?”

“Our son is chucking his little guts up. I have a feeling our other son will be doing the same very soon.”

“Doubtful.”

“Most certainly. Before he passes the same terrible thing onto you, I suggest you bring William over to me. I’ve moved my meetings to next week, everything else I can deal with from home.”

What. The. Fuck? “I don’t think that’s necessary,” Stella said dismissively.

“They were coming over to me for the weekend anyway. No point in putting it off if William’s going to be ill. I don’t want to miss out on my time with them.”

And if she didn’t, she’d be in breach of their stupid contact order. That fucking judge thought Stella had life too easy. If only he knew. Dick stain didn’t have a sodding clue. “Let him be tonight and if he’s dodgy tomorrow, I’ll drop him around. If he’s not, I’m not exposing him to flu just so you get time with him. That’s what Skype is for.”

“It’s not the same, Stella.”

No, it wasn’t. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Let me speak to Danny.”

“All right then. Tomorrow.”

She heard the scrambling of the phone and a croaky-voiced Danny answered. “Hi Muma.”

The weakness of his tone clogged her throat with tears. “Hello, darling. How are you feeling?”

“Like bollocks, Muma.”

“Who taught you that horrible word?” she demanded, tears drying instantly at his language.

“You said it when we had a flat tyre last week before school. I do feel bad. Dad’s given me Lucozade and Ribena and Robinsons and coconut water. I think I’ve stopped throwing up.”

“That’s something. But keep drinking lots of water and juice. Are you hot? Has your dad put a cold flannel on your head?”

“Yes, I’ve got one. You should come, too. We’re watching TV in my bed. Like we used to on Sundays.”

She breathed out slowly until the urge to curse her husband for ruining every aspect of their lives together passed. “That sounds lovely, darling. Listen, get some rest and I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay Muma. Nighty night.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

He passed the phone back to Niels. “I’ll call tomorrow, make sure Will’s okay.”

“He’s with me.” She threw off his irritating suggestion. “He’ll be fine.”

Ten hours later, on her hands and knees wiping up something unspeakably disgusting, Stella took back every word of her suggestion that her son could simply sidestep a virus, even though she’d spent the better part of the evening spraying the house with an antibacterial aerosol. With pinpricks of pain needling her head, foretelling an undeserved migraine on the way, Stella packed her second sick child into her car and headed for Niels’ home. Her ex-husband lounged in the doorway as she pulled up.

Will weakly lifted his arm to wave to his father as Stella heaved him out of the car and rolled his overnight bag onto her shoulder. Niels took it from her, by her side in two short leaps. “Come in.”

Stella hadn’t stepped foot inside his home and had only seen pictures of the boys playing together within these much-lauded four walls. The interior wasn’t much different from her own, walls a subtle shade of grey that didn’t show scuff marks the same way white walls did. It was spacious, clean, and just like the man, meticulous. Niels placed the bag down in the hall way and lifted Will from Stella.

“Go and make yourself a coffee. I’ll just put him to bed.”

Stella jerked a thumb in the direction of her car. “I really do need to go to the new premises…”

“Stay and have a coffee,” he repeated, taking Will upstairs and out of her sight. She rubbed her forehead. A coffee would only make her migraine worse.

Closing the front door behind her, she trudged to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. Now where the damn hell is everything, she asked the empty room. Leaning forward, she rested her head on the cold marble of the centre bar and closed her eyes.

She felt the heat of a palm on her lower back. “Stella?” Niels prompted softly. “Are you feeling sick?” Her mouth flooded with saliva and her stomach rolled with irritation. “All right, come on.”

“No, I’m all right. I’ve gone to work on worse…” Oh, talking did not improve that sensation. Gently coaxing her hair from her face, he edged her to the sink and the scent of lemon made her stomach protest violently. Her morning cup of tea went the same way as Will’s Weetabix.

“You’re not going anywhere, either.”

“Can’t stay here,” she groaned.

“Yes, you can. Don’t argue with me, woman.” He swung her easily into his arms and carried her up the stairs to a grand bedroom. A large king-sized bed dominated the room, decorated in simple grey, black, and white.

“I can’t, Niels,” she tried to lift herself out of his hold only for him to grip tighter.

He placed her on the bed and removed her shoes. “Just for once, be quiet and rest. You’re not going to feel any better for at least forty-eight hours. No work, no cleaning, no cooking, and definitely no driving in your state.”

His hands tunnelled under her pearl-studded jumper, lifting it over her head. He discarded her pencil skirt in much the same way and took her tights with the skirt. There was something unnaturally clinical about the way he undressed her. As if she was another sick child. Had she the strength to smack his hands away, she would have done. Smacked him right around his big head.

He tucked her into one of his T-shirts with the direction not to throw up over it and unclipped her bra with the T-shirt on, maintaining her dignity. Not that he hadn’t licked, sucked, or bitten her puppies, only difference being, he wasn’t legally allowed to touch her personage.

As he tucked her beneath his duvet, he said gently, “I’ll bring you a bowl and some painkillers for the headache.”

“Aren’t you going to get this?” she asked.

He smirked. “I don’t get sick. You know that.”
“Twat,” she muttered to his amusement. Before she could say anything else, he’d left the room. Slick bastard. She was in his bed undressed. It was their first date all over again…

Turn Back Time

And it's here! What started off as a story in a short collection evolved into a mire of emotion and naughtiness and the restorative beauty of Mexico. So for you, Coming Around Again...

Coming Around Again on Amazon

Don't forget, I'm having a Facebook Party to celebrate the release from 5.00pm to 6.30pm EST on Thursday 23 October and 7.00pm to 8.30pm on Friday 24 October. Prizes and goodies and all sorts, from me and a few of my friends. I get by with a little help from my friends! Release Party on Facebook


Around A Blurb

"I can't exist in a marriage where you endure me..." 

And with those haunting words, Stella's marriage to Niels comes to a terrible, heartbreaking end. She thought she'd done everything possible to keep her life together and to the outside world, her marriage was nothing less than perfection. Not according to Niels. As she struggles with the fall out of the divorce, Stella truly understands just how much she underestimated the strength and depth of feeling for her husband. And that they may never go away. However much she wants them to. And it seems, neither will Niels. Certainly not if she calls him. Invites him to her home. Sleeps with him. Stella tells herself it's a nostalgic habit she needs to break. Niels tells her it's just how they are and always will be. Maybe the divorce was exactly what they needed to truly be married...


Around An Excerpt

“What’s going on?” Stella demanded, stepping over the twins’ weekend bags scattered in her living room to face her ex-husband. The smug plonker was stretched out on her sofa—a sofa she was still paying for—with a boy on each side.

“Dad fancied staying,” Danny answered, barely turning his head to acknowledge her.

His brother piped up. “He said he wouldn’t mind if you had to go out.”

Presumptuous… “That’s the point of him having you over the weekend so I didn’t have to worry about that,” she retorted.

Niels barely rippled his shoulders in a shrug, squashing their children into his body. “You don’t have a date, do you? You’d have told me.”

Of course she would have! To rub it in his overtly attractive face. Instead, she’d had plans to meet up with her friends for a speed dating event. The risk with that plan was that her ex-husband would have free reign in her house.

Nope. Couldn’t be done. “Can I talk to you?” she suggested, with a grin so false, it cracked her cheeks. “Outside?”

Will looked at her. “Are you and Dad going to have a fight? Because…you know you said you wouldn’t anymore? Remember?”

Pressing her fingers to a pulse in her eyeball, Stella turned into the corridor, leaving the door open for Niels to follow. He sent her an infuriating smile before he sealed the living room from what needed to be a full-on barney.

“This is what we spent two years in court fighting about,” Stella began. “Boundaries,” she enunciated the word, drawing a line between their bodies. “You’re not respecting mine. Again.”

Niels watched her with an indulgent look on his face. “What are you more worried about? That you’re not out tonight, or that I know you’re not out?”

She’d paid a lot of money to be told not to use her fists to put her point across when it came to the man she’d so blindly married. “I’m worried about you putting ideas in their head—” she thrust a hand in the twins’ direction, “—that we’re getting back together!”

He nodded slowly, mouth twisting in thought. “Ah. That idea. The one you started by using me for sex last weekend.”

She slapped her hands over her eyes and turned away. Massively unfair! “It was a mistake! I was feeling weak and vulnerable and you…you came over with that sodding bottle of Malbec for no reason than to…to…”

He interrupted her spluttering. “To reminisce about the good days, post-three or four orgasms?”

Stella pointed to the kitchen and with the smuggest of smiles, he led the way. As soon as they were inside, Stella closed the door. “Now listen here…”

Niels pressed her to the wood and kissed every single letter of argument from her lips. Bad. Bad man. He still tasted every bit as forbidden and addictive and delicious as he always had. Her downfall was nostalgia. All of her firsts happened with the terrible man and he was still the best kisser to have nibbled on her top lip while palming her bottom. “I miss you,” he growled against her mouth.

“You divorced me, you numpty!” She heaved, pushing him away with shaking hands. “You split us up. You fought me on everything. And you, you utter wanker, you started seeing other people.”

Rage flickered in Niels’ face. “Hey, I only did that after Daniel told me about some fuck-face being here every other night.”

Okay, granted, she’d tried to move on first; but even after she accepted her marriage was over, nothing, including the vaginal tear from naturally delivering her two boys, nothing hurt as badly as seeing Niels with another woman. She sighed, rubbing her hands over her face. It really was her own fault for sleeping with him last weekend. All it did was make her wish for the old days.

“You know why our divorce took so long?” Niels said into the quiet. “I wanted you to change your mind. I dragged it out at every opportunity so you had to keep talking to me.”

What? “You’ve figured this out now?”

“My therapist told me.”

“You? Your what?” Niels didn’t do new age, touchy-feely stuff. Maybe if they had…

No, no. It was all too late. It had no meaning with a framed decree absolute and a shared care order.

He sighed heavily. “Therapy for what happened between you and me. It was that or pills, and you know me and pills don’t agree. I didn’t want to be off my face when the boys were with me.”

She stared at him in amazement. “You never said.”

He sent her an arch look. “Well, the last time I tried to talk to you, you were far more interested in getting my mouth in other places.”

Oops. God, he confused her completely.

“But I’m practically over you.”

“Liar. I’ve got text messages to prove it.” Urgh, maybe not. “I remember them off the top of my head: No one can make you harder than I can…”

“Niels...” The warning didn’t make him cease the falsetto in his quotes.

“Remember that anniversary when we finally did anal? You really think you’d ever convince another woman to let you do that with that monster dick of yours?”

“What is wrong with you?” she yelled.

“Oh, and my personal favourite: I miss you so much sometimes. That’s a lie. I miss you all the time. Sent just before I came over last week.”

She stalked past him and uncorked a bottle of wine. “What’s your point? I say silly things. And I know those first two texts were sent in the early bit of our divorce. Because I remember adding to the end of the second one how I ruined my arse because of you, so you owe me the sodding house.”

“Our children ruined your arse,” he argued, bracing his arms on either side of her waist, kissing the back of her neck. The heat of his breath sent shivers all over her skin. No, she couldn’t get caught up in physicality. Sex hadn’t been their problem. Communication had been.

“Back up,” she warned, pushing him away with her bottom, only to find herself locked against his groin.

“No,” he murmured, his hand stroking from her waistband to cup her breast. “Let me stay. We’ll talk.”

So tempting… “We won’t talk. You’ll try to get on top of me. Or in me. Or both.”

“Naturally, but Stella…we’ve been fooling ourselves for long enough. Last week was the first step to us being honest. There’s no reason we can’t carry on.”

His mouth trailed persuasively over her jaw to her lips. Breathlessly, she turned to give in to the kiss when Danny burst in.

“Dad, you promised pizza when Muma got home, and why are you being mushy-face with each other?”

Stella heard Will call from the living room, “I want stuffed crust!”

Niels pressed his lips to her cheek, his hand roving over her buttocks in an act of such dominance she nearly went on her knees. “Leave your Muma alone for a bit. We’ll order from the living room, okay? Dad’s not going anywhere.”

With a look of certainty, he shut the door behind them, leaving Stella gripping the wine bottle for dear life.

Well, damn it to hell on a breadstick.

Shit. Just. Got. Real.

Cry Me A River

I didn't mean this soundtrack to be this depressing, but anyways! It shall be neatly slotted into the book at the start so you can multi task as all brilliant women can. Listen to music, read and weep. Apologies for the weeping. Didn't mean that either.

Coming to a blurb....

I can't exist in a marriage where you endure me...

And with those haunting words, Stella's marriage to Niels comes to a terrible, heartbreaking end. She thought she'd done everything possible to keep her life together and to the outside world, her marriage was nothing less than perfection. Not according to Niels.
As she struggles with the fall out of the divorce, Stella truly understands just how much she underestimated the strength and depth of feeling for her husband. And that they may never go away. However much she wants them to. And it seems, neither will Niels. Certainly not if she calls him. Invites him to her home. Sleeps with him.
Stella tells herself it's a nostalgic habit she needs to break. Niels tells her it's just how they are and always will be. Maybe the divorce was exactly what they needed to truly be married...  

1. Lana Del Rey Cruel World
2. M83 Wait
3. Lorde A World Alone
4. Keaton Henson You
5. Emeli Sande Mountains
6. Beyonce Partition
7. Lamb Bonfire
8. Bloc Party Blue Light
9. Paolo Nutini Iron Sky
10. Massive Attack Unfinished Sympathy
11. Foxes Glorious
12. Nick Mulvey Fever To The Form
13. Rebecca Ferguson ft John Legend Bridges
14. Keaton Henson ft Ren Ford Josella 
15. Alice Boman (PAL Remix) Waiting 
16. London Grammar Stay Awake
17. Sarah McLachlan Do What You Have To Do
18. Ed Sheeran Kiss Me
19. Aloe Blacc Femme Fatale
20. Marsha Ambrosius Run
21. Damien Rice I Remember 
22. Daley Alone Together
23. Portishead Roads 
24. Foals Moon
25. FKA twigs Pendulum
26. FKA twigs Two Weeks
27. Moby Porcelain
28. James Vincent McMorrow Gold
29. Arcade Fire Haiti
30. Daughter Tomorrow 
31. James Blake A Case Of You
32. George Ezra - Blame It On Me

Coming Around Again on Spotify

Coming Around Again

I'm back from my little jaunt to Italy! If you hadn't seen on my Facebook page, I left a little excerpt of the book that has seen me through a box of Kleenex, weeping and wailing and wailing and weeping. I'm over it though. Not selling it am I... Maybe this bit will though!

Niels takes over my blog.. 

Stella felt an elbow digging into her ribs. And something else hard between her buttocks and there was definitely a hand, a large male hand, cupping her breast. Underneath the material of Niels’ T-shirt, on the bare skin of breast that remained untouched since the last time she’d had sex with her husband, cupped.
“Are you awake?” Niels grumbled from behind her. “Do you need to be sick again?”
“The hell are you doing?” she demanded, wrestling out of his grip and slapping his hand from her tit.
“I was sleeping,” he said on an enormous yawn. “Until you started moving about.”
“You were feeling me up. Rubbing your chub into my bum,” she accused.
Niels lifted the duvet and started laughing. “Oh, come on, Stella. You know how much I love your pumpkin.”
“Don’t call it that.”
“This is all automatic. I don’t think it’ll ever change. There’ll be a day when I’m old and couldn’t encourage an erection. But while you still have that delectable ass, I will forever feel my manhood.”
“You’re ridiculous,” she threw at him, turning onto her side and tucking the duvet more tightly around herself.
Niels caught the T-shirt in a bunched fist and dragged her against his bare chest. “You didn’t have any complaints when you were sleeping earlier. Actually, you told me to move my hand lower.”
“I’m clearly delirious. And you’re taking advantage of a sick woman.”
“My wife.”
“Ex-wife.” She shivered as his palm slipped warmly underneath the T-shirt again, his thumb skimming over her navel.
“There’s still a possessive pronoun. Mine…” he added on a whisper.
“Look, I’m ill. I don’t need you molesting me with our children in the next room.”
“Why do you pretend I don’t know you? Post-orgasmic Stella always sleeps better than irritable Stella.”
So very true, but she couldn’t let her barely ex-husband touch her anywhere outside of the sanctity of marriage. God, the things she’d let that man do to her sexually…
“You shouldn’t,” she muttered while his index finger traced the line of her lace Brazilian-cut knickers.
“Nothing I haven’t done before,” he assured her, parting her thighs with his hand and slipping his fingers beneath the edge of her panties.
“Sleep, my sweet,” he whispered. “Nothing for you to worry about.”