I Fought The Law

And we're off again! Christmas is taking up a lot of time (everyone wants everything done now, me to put on a nice dress, socialise and smile. I'm still exhausted from that marathon month writing, have no patience to do it to order) But more importantly is to get this book back out again. Maybe because it's a little too close to home, or maybe it's because of Nonna Mamione, or Rocco's smoothness, or I see family and friend's in Anna's fuck you and your ilk attitude, or even that I wrote it so damn fast, that this is genuinely one of my favourites. And there's nothing more satisfying in this world than helping a nutty, unbalanced, hilarious old bird. Once again, a Knight for your pleasure.

The Claim on Amazon
The Claim on ARe

R v Blurb [2014]

Rocco Mamione has possibly the best wingman in the world. His grandmother. He had no idea that when his nonna was fired from the job she had for thirty years, she’d demand the best employment lawyer in London. A lawyer who just happens to be his ex-girlfriend. His nonna has been giving him the “where are my great-grandbabies?” goo-goo eyes for some time and is convinced that Anna is the perfect woman to multiply those slightly unbalanced Mamione genes. Truthfully, he only ever imagined having babies with Anna. To get her back will be the ultimate challenge, but Rocco is nothing if not Sicilian-resilient.

Anna Taylor is not an Ice Princess. Rocco Mamione just burned her heart to a crisp six years ago. Anyone can talk about it, if they want a biro in their eye and an invoice for the advice to shut up. Smart enough to want to avoid further heartbreak and a potential conviction for murder, Anna does her best to not be led down the Mamione path again. Definitely not by his crazy grandmother or her crack-addictive cakes. Not by Rocco’s slick lines and hard body underneath those tailor-made suits. And absolutely not by the fact that she loves him. Still. After all this time. The truth about their break up may just do it.

The third book in the Italian Knights series is one cup good sponge, two cups of endurance, redemption, and a lot of letting go. If only to get a bit of Sicilian... 

 R v Excerpt [2014]

“But I—” Imogen’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open. What was she looking at? Anna turned around and saw Rocco heading for the lifts. “What the hell?”

“Yeah,” Anna said shortly. “Look, I’ve got to go. I’m late.”

“Are you mad? Have you lost your mind? Did you forget what he did?”

“What the two of you did?” Anna corrected. “No. I haven’t. But I have a job and it needs doing.”

Imogen stared at her in disbelief. “I never thought you were that stupid, but it’s obvious you want to get under him again.”

“I’m going now because I’m not going to dignify that with an answer.” She headed in the same direction as Rocco, in fact, feeding into a perverse need to see how the two of them would behave toward each other.

“Hold the lift,” she called, just as Rocco took a step inside. He held the door with one large hand, and his eyes lightened deviously on Imogen, with baby in tow.

“Imogen Barnes,” he said. “Look at you, rearing the innocent.”

Anna was shocked. Whatever she had expected, it wasn’t that.

“I’ll wait for the next one. Anna, I’ll talk to you when you get your senses back.” The lift doors closed just as the baby started to wail again. Rocco leaned against the closed elevator doors.

“So you’re still friends. Really?”

Anna glanced at him edgily. “Sometimes, yes.”

“Forgive me if I find that absurd.”

“She’s made up for it. It was a mistake.”

He snorted a laugh. “It was a fabrication.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said, it was a fabrication. You tell me what on this planet would induce me to fuck that?”

“I don’t know, maybe simple availability!” Anna raged. “Oh, look, there’s a pussy, why don’t I stick my dick into it?”

Rocco suddenly crowded her space, and she found herself pressed to the wall of the lift, clutching the support bars. “You knew every single inch of my body. Ask her. Compare notes.”

“Why would she lie about that? Why would she completely ruin our friendship over a lie?”

He shrugged. “Why does anyone do something that makes them infamous in a person’s life? What else does she have going for her? Ask her where my tattoos are. If she slept with me like she said she did, she’ll know.”

“That’s crap, what if I’d told her?”

“Did you?”

Course not, the wonders of his body were all for her and for everyone else’s imagination. “It won’t prove anything.”

He smiled sadly. “My learned friend, I beg to differ. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Battlefield

I don't know if you know, but I wrote this story in 36 days. I have no idea what Hank was on but he had other things to do that month and wanted to get on with them, rather than deal with Rocco pining for his tempesta. Without further ado, here is the soundtrack for Rocco and Anna's battlefield love story:

I've mixed it up from the original soundtrack, only because I don't want repeats of the same tracks. It tickles the OCD patient hiding within me...

The Claim on Spotify

1. Florence and the Machine Shake It Out 
2. TI ft. John Legend Slide Show
3. Maxwell Pretty Wings
4. Madonna She's Not Me
5. Justin Timberlake What Comes Around
6. Birdy Shelter
7. One Republic Apologize
8. Mumford & Sons I Gave You All
9. Gnarls Barkley Crazy
10. Gnarls Barkley Run
11. Faithless Don't Leave
12. Massive Attack Paradise Circus
13. Arcade Fire Ocean Of Noise
14. Rihanna ft Drake What's My Name
15. Interpol The Lighthouse
16. Zero Seven Ghost Soul
17. The Rapture How Deep Is Your Love
18. Kanye West ft Bon Iver Lost In The Woods
19. Tom Rosenthal Take Care
20. Chaka Khan Love Has Fallen On Me 

Hung Up

I got told off by Eve Vaughn. Actually, she did a Naboo from the Mighty Boosh and turned her back on me http://youtu.be/m8Da7PQE8O8.

It's because we're in the middle of July and there's no IK5. Sigh, it was all going so well, wasn't it? But stuff happens. And here's a list of reasons why there is currently no A Life Sublime for you to purchase:

1. It's almost 70,000 words.
2. It takes forever and a day to edit. Last weekend was dedicated to the proof edit all 347 pages of it. That's the Word typed version not the formatted version. God knows how many pages it'll be on epub or mobi. 
3. I have a day job and a kinda need to eat. Maybe a bit less but you know. Healthy food costs money. 
4. It had to go on the back burner for a bit while I made some decisions about the whole story. Writers guilt, one supposes. 
5. The cover is proving to be a challenge. I'm lucky in that I get a say in what goes on my cover and that my publishers are so passionate about Massimo to want to get his image perfect. The last older man that looked my direction was sucking at his dentures. Not hot. Mature cover models? The Holy Grail. 
6. I went to Atlanta! The conference put everything behind a bit but we're all getting back on track. I mean one still enjoys an afternoon nap now and again...
7. I keep watching that cat twerking video and cannot for the life of me be serious about anything for a good three hours http://youtu.be/ULEMNtgfAdY. 
8. I hated it. 
9. I still kinda hate it after this weekend. 
10. I'm worried how people will take to Belinda - who is the embodiment of all of my aunts - because let's be honest, women are harsher critics on themselves than anyone else possibly could be. 

The above could be just a list of excuses but the truth is, books do generally take a while to write. What happened to me with Rocky and Anna's story was a freakin' fluke. This one has been coming up to two years from start to finish. 

Once it's finished, I go through the story with a fine tooth comb to see if there are any plot holes or mistakes. There's always something (several somethings) that I miss. Then it goes back and forth between me and an editor. Three times. At least. Then it goes back and forth with a proofreader. Three times. At least. All the while I'm checking all the trademark endorsements for any companies I've referenced. Which means reading the story. Again. Checking all my language spellings are correct and that necessitates hog tying one of my parents to get that sorted. If you think I'm busy, it's nearly impossible to get them to do anything book related without some sort of bribe. And by then they're stewed in booze and no use to anyone. In the meantime, I'm scanning through image stock photographs for my Massimos and Belindas. The only score I have are my background photographs which are from Italy so that makes the choice a little easier. Normally, it's a few hours for a week or more trawling for perfect pictures. 

Sometimes, when stuff is this hard, I give up and write something else until I can face the challenge. So in answer to the question "Where the hell is this book?" it's coming. On my chilled bottle of Pear Bulmer's Cider, it's coming. Very soon. And no, I haven't changed my mind about point 8 and 9. I still kinda hate it. 

In the Amazon...

Best Laid Plans is now available on Amazon! And just before Christmas. I can see you all now, one hand on the turkey baster, the other on your Kindle. I've said this may be the last useful, literary thing I do before Christmas, because next week, if I take breath that doesn't involve wrapping paper, roasted potatoes, scallops, cranberry sauce, Morgan Spice, pine needles, cursing people on Oxford Street and wishing I had two minutes alone to write something, it will indeed be a Christmas miracle. Enjoy!

Best Laid Plans Amazon

Sing To Me

The sweet sounds of love! Or grabbing a bottle of ginger ale late at night. Or just watching the world go by on the wrong side of the Thames. (The south is the right side - just so you know).

Here's the soundtrack to Best Laid Plans! You will note that my musical taste is all over the shop, but this is totally in line with the people that chatter in my head.

1. Deco Child - Pray
2. Gomez - We Haven't Turned Around
3. Tinie Tempah - Written In The Stars
4. Chase and Status - End Credits
5. One Republic - Secrets
6. Emeli Sande - Heaven
7. Skunk Anansie - Charlie Big Potato
8. Jessie J - We Found Love (Radio 1 Live Lounge) 
9. Foals- Spanish Sahara
10. Kanye West - All of the Lights
11. Lykke Li - Love Out Of Lust
12. Bjork - All Is Full Of Love
13. Portishead - It's A Fire
14. The XX - Angels

Sunlight

You know when I said I got up at the arse crack of dawn to go and take photos of my city? Well I did. I dragged my puffy eyed, weary carcass to Putney at god awful o'clock and snapped around sixty photos. Like a weirdo. Almost took a photo of a couple of tramps dealing from their shopping trolley. I apologised and backed off. Anyways! One of those hard earned, sleep deprived photographs has become the background scene to the next Italian Knights book. Annie Lebowitz? Eat your heart out!

Isn't it pretty?! I love it and not just because I worked for it. (Sat in Cafe Nero for two hours after then had four hours more sleep. But it was work.) It's this long for the paperback. That's where the description will go. Now the rainbow is real, it's where the sunlight hit my camera lens. London was just waking up and I was the tourist in a dude's cardigan, leggings and some bad ass canvas trainers taking photos. I kept thinking, catching sight of the cameras beside Putney Bridge, "I hope M15 don't profile me as a potential terrorist..." Ah the era of digital cameras. Everyone's a photographer. To be fair though, one is rather skilled at it.

What the water gave me

So yes, Italy was fantabulous. Divine. Awe inspiring. Beautiful. Humbling. It was like a third home! I have to say third home. If Ghana came anywhere less than second, I'd be disowned and then I couldn't ask for stuff like pineapples and doughnuts. Anyways, I've got a Flickr account and I've uploaded some of the photos I took while I was there.

sobillyscamerasays

As well as presenting me with some of the best, freshest food I have ever eaten, and taking me 15% shades darker than I am, toning up my thighs with all the walking around it also gave me the last push to finish IK4. IK5 is also on the ways to being very much so done too. I feel fulfilled and grateful and deeply Italian. I paid with my card for some booze (naturally) and the barman pointed out my middle name and declared, "That's Italian. So you're Italian! Yay!" So if he said I was, I am. I'm already planning a return trip but in the meantime, Viva Italia!

Time Is On My Side?

I'm tidying up the last bits of Italian Knight No 4. I'm not playing in 2012, these men will not leave me alone. And it got me thinking, just as I was rewriting the prologue. What on earth was I doing three years ago? Seriously. What was going on, what was happening, who did I meet, celebrate with, commiserate with? Who did I say goodbye to and who did I welcome into my family? Who snapped my knicker elastic?! Honestly, try it. And don't cheat by looking at your Facebook time line! While my stories will start at the 'how did the couple meet?' it's never as important as where they end up together. Let me know how you get on with the years test.