Perfect Ten

 

 

Happy Ten Year Anniversary to me then!

It really has been a whole decade since I thought, lemme add banging to this story about a Mafia guy called Nick in love with his best mate called Gina. Then lemme put it on Literotica. Then lemme get a publisher (enter stage left Jayha Leigh). Then lemme get absolutely stoned in Brighton and figure out a way to add another fifty thousand words to it. (Enter Hot Muse Hank to tell me “bitch, add more sex!”) Lemme give you some Tony Caristo, sprinkle in a little Rocco Mamione and a healthy dash of Beppe Nardiello. Oh and if we’re adding a little spice to the mix, Gianluca Caristo warmed by Durante Da Canaveze all under the heat that is Sir Massimo Da Canaveze. Lemme give you some of my favourite places, my favourite shops, my favourite things to do, lemme share a little trauma coz it’s good to share. And ten years later, here we are. 

So, as if it were a lifetime achievement award (I’d like a BAFTA one day) let me say some thank yous:

The Lady London and her ever patient squire Papa London. What would I have done without you spelling out words in Fante to me and asking why only to be thoroughly distracted by watching something on TV instead. 

My bros, endless sources of amusement! 

Hot Muse Hank, where would I be without your guidance? 

Ms Jayha Leigh for finding me and testing me and encouraging me and introducing me to my next big thanks

The Queen of Hearts, Barb Wilson, the most magical of editors. There are things I wouldn’t have linked or understood or even come up with in the absence of your wonderful, magical guiding hands.

My fellow authors especially Janet Eckford and Nikki Winter and Violette Dubrinsky. I’m a solo artist by my very definition, but solo artists do have producers and sound mixers and all sorts. They have collaborators who will tell you ‘nah, son a little to your left.” I'm so grateful for the time they gave to me. 

And finally, my readers. You, yes, I’m looking right at you! Thank you. I thought Windows was a pump and dump, to be fair. I thought it was finished and nothing else would come of it. I didn’t think I’d be writing about Massimo’s elegant feet or Tony’s propensity to smack a bare bottom or Auntie Belinda’s love of swimming or Rocco’s tattoos or Beppe’s Prince Albert piercing! Yet, here we are. Because you asked, maybe threatened to cut me a little if I didn’t.

And I’ve expanded that little universe to my other stories and I’m getting back to a place where I can write just as freely about new characters. I love writing. I always have. I always will. Let’s see what the next ten is about. Got to be wilder than this!

 

    

Still The One

Now that Tony is back out causing mayhem, I've put Windows on a bit of a flash sale which ends in two days time! The book is over three years old and to celebrate, it's available for $2.99 of your hard earned money. If you haven't taken the plunge yet, get on it!

Anniversary Convincing....

Never having felt more frustrated, he put the key back in the ignition, ready to go home. He was fooling himself. There was no chance of him cutting Gina out completely. He was a mug, entirely hooked on the way that silly girl smiled at him and called him “dude.” He hadn’t been able to stop being in love with her for years. In fact, the realization he was in love with Gina had made him physically sick a single month after they’d met.

Nick had been raw from a row with his father, involving phrases such as “Why aren’t you more like your brother?” and “wasting your life.” The only way to drown them had been with beer, then tequila following the huge DJ event on the beach in Brighton.

Annabelle had left in disgust, taking the last train back into London. He would need to apologize to her in the morning. Gina had gone from mildly amused at his inebriation to concerned in an hour. She had forced a coffee down his throat and bought him a litre bottle of water to drink through steadily. And their designated driver, Karl, had to stop every ten minutes for Nick to void his bladder, bouncing off the walls of whatever alleyway was nearest. In the car, he had flopped onto Gina’s mini-skirted lap and gazed goofily up at her. She had trailed her fingers along his scalp, his hair on her bare thighs.

“Dude,” she murmured.

“Wasted,” Karl snorted.

“Can you just concentrate on the road?” Gina flashed. “He’s had a hard day—leave him alone.”

Nick started to laugh uncontrollably. Gina held up a few fingers. “How many?”

“Five,” he guessed. Only to realize what he’d said and laugh harder.

“Jesus,” Karl swore.

“Road, fool!”

“There’s only one of you, G, that’s a shame,” Nick murmured.

“Silly boy,” she admonished, continuing to filter his hair through her fingers.

He turned his face into her soft belly and thought he could stay there forever if need be. What would he do without her? Annabelle had fucked off; his father didn’t think much of him at the moment because he was questioning everything his father did. And Gina, sweet, beautiful, fantastically curved Gina, just accepted him as he was. She didn’t want him to be anyone else, not like that insane Candace or credit-card obsessed Kelly or what was that junkie called, the one who loved prescription drugs? Sam! He loved Gina instead.

He sat up.

“What’s up?”

Bile rushed up his throat. “Karl, stop the car!” 

She pushed him out just before the car fully stopped, and Nick heaved out everything in his stomach, and maybe his feet; he’d never thrown up so much. When he was finished, Gina gave him a bottle of water to rinse out his mouth. He sat down on the floor of the car; a small bottle of fizzy water and a packet of ready-salted crisps were placed in his lap. Eyes red from the force of vomiting, he looked up at Gina. She touched the tips of her fingers to her lips and drew them over his cheek. “I know you.”

“You’re my best friend,” he stated, upset by this fact and the indisputable realization that he would never be able to change it.

“And aren’t you lucky!” she laughed.

He’d waited for his feelings to change, for them to go away, or die down, to disappear altogether. He ended things with Annabelle, but tried to have meaningful relationships and concentrated on making his father happy by doing something useful. So he completed his studies in accountancy, assisting with the family business in a committed manner. Every effort he made was so much more worth it after a simple text message from Gina. He treasured a hug from her more than three or four months of incarceration with the girls he chose to replace her. He was the satellite to her world.

A few years ago, he’d finally resolved to make her see what they could be together. He’d gone to Tiffany & Co. and bought her an engagement ring. She had thrown him a congratulations party at the restaurant/bar she had been working at and introduced him to her new boyfriend, who had shaken his hand warily, having heard a lot about Nick. Gina, with a glowing face, had silently asked for his approval, and he had given it. Devastated, he’d kept the ring. He still had it. If Gina had opened the drawer in his bedside table, she’d have seen it. It sat gathering dust while he waited for the right time. There would never be a right time.

He drove back to her house and forced himself out of the car. Brave it. He would tell her tonight, and end his daily torture with her. He knew how amazing they would be together, if she gave them the chance. As he approached the house, he nearly came to a grinding halt. A man peering through a crack in the front door. Instinct kicked in, and the heel of Nick’s hand connected with the man’s chin, then a sharp chop to his neck left him in a heap on the floor. Nick stepped over him, and for the rest of his days, he would marvel at how he didn’t kill anyone. 

Windows on Sale

Back Again

It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Windows is available for purchase again. I've messed around with it enough. With my little added extras, I'm pleased it's back out there for new readers to discover, and for my old faithfuls (you know who you are!). To celebrate the re-release and honour the fact that three years have passed since it was first published, I'm offering it at a 30% discount for the next 3 weeks!! Well I would if Amazon would let me. The discount will take place from 27 August. More deets to follow!

If you don't know how important this book is to me, let me re-share.

Four years ago, my mother and I went to Greece. Our first girls holiday. We fought, we laughed until we cried, we got absolutely muntered and we baked our skins into next level darkness. Metaxa brandy is lethal. I can't tell you everything that was happening in my life at that time, but let's just say the holiday was a looooooooong time coming. And in the midst of sipping the booze, slapping away mosquitoes, I began re-writing a story I made up when I was eleven.

I kept the loose leaves of paper under a mosquito repellent candle and wrote pages and pages by hand. Lady London was the one (under severe influence) who told me to type it up. Let other people read it. Essentially telling me to stop keeping things in. That if I couldn't talk about my feelings, then to express them in writing. So I did.

And 80,000 typed words later in February 2011, it was published. Liked, loathed, loved in varying measures. It amazed me how people connected. Whether they found Gina infuriating or Nick overbearing or the rude auntie Belinda hilarious or Sofia as a star in waiting. To see them telling me how they couldn't believe two people could be so oblivious to each other's feelings for so long (been there, done that) or that the connection between my hero and heroine touched them.

There has rarely been a time in my life when I haven't put pen to paper. While it's allowed me to exercise some squatting demons, it's also allowed me to make the most amazing friends and meet the most incredible people from all over the world. I feel very blessed about what I do and it all started with this book. My first love. So here it is, once again. The story that started it all....

Windows on Amazon

Here I Go Again

With a shiny new cover comes a few little extras in the Windows Remade version. I've completed soundtracks for all my books, and I have been deeply, deeply remiss with this one. My debut. My baby. The reason I bit the bullet and tattooed myself. Scrolling through my iPod (yes I still have one - 2008 and going strong!) I recalled all the songs that made me laugh and cry and wonder if anyone really would read this without peeking between their fingers. Seems like... 

In all it's glory, here is the soundtrack to the beast that is Windows. Enjoy!

1. James Brown Sex Machine
2. T.I ft Swizz Beatz Swing Ya Rag 
3. Bob Marley Three Little Birds
4. Bloc Party Luno
5. Justin Timberlake Damn Girl
6. Daft Punk Face to Face
7. Sly and the Family Stone Que Sera Sera 
8. Madonna Heartbeat
9. Gorillaz Dare
10. Justin Timberlake Losing my way
11. Nelly Furtado Say it Right
12. Jordin Sparks Battlefield
13. Eminem ft Rihanna Love The Way You Lie
14. Kings of Leon No Money
15. Marvin Gaye Too busy thinking about my baby
16. Daft Punk Digital Love
17. Alicia Keys Distance and Time
18. White Lies Fairwell to the Fairground
19. T.I ft Justin Timberlake Dead and Gone
20. Oasis Wonderwall 
21. Coldplay Politik 
22. Bob Marley No Woman No Cry
23. Madonna Spanish Lesson
24. Eminem ft Lil Wayne No Love
25. Jay-Z ft Rihanna and Kanye West Run This Town
26. Bob Marley Buffalo Soldier 
27. Frederik Olufsen Rocks
28. Foals - Spanish Sahara
29. The xx - Heart Skipped A Beat
30. The Temper Trap Sweet Disposition
31. Mumford and Sons The Cave
32. South - Paint the Silence
33. B.o.B Don't Let Me Fall 
34. Kanye West Power
35. Jay-Z and Linkin Park Numb/Encore
36. Akon Gun Shot
37. Mr Hudson ft Kanye West - Supernova 
38. Coldplay Fix You
39. Damien Rice Amie
40. Bob Marley Could You Be Loved

I've done all the hard work and created a play list of the above for you to listen on the glorious Spotify!

Windows on Spotify

Talk That Talk

So in the lead up to IK5, Massimo and Belinda's story, which is starting to make me feel a little embarrassed about how they completely lack any sexual inhibition but we'll get to that. I'm doing some in depth questions with the Italian Knights and their ladies of the realm of London, just so you feel you're up to snuff and ready for number 5.

First Up... Book 1, Windows and the delightfully obtuse Nick and Gina:

·         Who are you closest to?

Nick

Gina Robinson. She’s my female best friend. If I don’t distinct that, someone called Caristo is going to have a bitch fit. Gina and I met at university, hated it and decided to drop out. Life decisions that bond people forever. That and her killer body. She’s gorgeous.

Gina

Did Nick say me? He better have. We’ve shared some pretty hardcore things together. I mean, he’s seen me throw up after snake blood shots in Thailand. Wait, why am I friends with him again?

• What is your earliest memory?

 Nick

Probably running around my parents’ villa in Naples. I couldn’t have been more than three or four. Reminds me why I love Italy. When Paul was older, I’d chase him around the villa. My dad had to stop me from throwing him face first into our swimming pool. What? I didn’t want to kill him, he was being rude.

Gina

Erm, having my scalp yanked by my mum while she plaited my hair. We were in our old living room and it was dark outside, so maybe it was winter time. The older I got, the less the scalp yanking bothered me. I’m glad we shared that.

• What is your biggest fear?

 Nick

Admitting certain things and losing my best friend because of it. Female best friend, Jesus Tony, why are you so fucking insecure?

Gina

Being alone. It starts with secrets then grows into putting distance from your friends and then… No one calls you, no one wants to speak to you, no one comes to see you. It’s sad.

• What are you best at?

 Nick

You want the PG version or…? Yeah, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

Gina

Cooking. I’d love to see anyone test me on a Beef Wellington.

• Tell us something that will shock us.

 Nick

If I tell you then I’d have to kill you. For real. I’m not even joking.

Gina

I kinda have an inappropriate crush on my best friend that’s developed into full blown secret love, but don’t tell him. Actually, let me think of something else and I’ll tell you. Don’t print this. Please.

• What do you value in a partner?

 Nick

A willingness to forgive. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and I’m going to make mistakes. Obviously, I’ll do everything and anything to make it up, but I’d love it if it wasn’t thrown in my face over and over again.

Gina

Hard, toned, muscled abs. I’m shallow. So what?

• Describe the last time you remember feeling really happy.

 Nick

Any time it’s just me and Gina. With beer and pizza.

Gina

Really, giggly, this shouldn’t ever end happy? Me and Nick in Thailand, watching the sunset, smoking something we probably shouldn’t have because I really don’t remember what happened the next day. It was a stoned blur.

• What is your biggest regret?

Nick

There was a question I wanted to ask Gina and I punked out. I should have just asked, dick boyfriend or no.

Gina

I could give you a list. They’re all up there.

• What is the one thing you would change about your life?

Nick

My job. It’d make my life so much easier if I didn’t do it.

Gina

My marital status. Nick and I went to his cousin’s wedding and I watched them and thought, why the hell isn’t that me yet? Come on Nicholas, let’s do this!

• What item can't you live without?

 Nick

My glasses. I feel like a mole without them.

Gina

Dude, I have the best food mixer ever. Had. I sold it. I miss it. That’s why I’m depressed, I miss my mint green food mixer. 

And there we are. If you've read the book, you can read between those sparse lines that blogger won't let me change. Booo. Next week, Tony and Lydia!