Turn The Page

*peeks head above surface* Anyone still here? Hi! While watching the new Queer Eye, the entirety of Bojack Horseman series one through to five (it's hilarious but traumatic af!) I read the loveliest message from a reader who reminded me that I hadn't made enough of my books available in paperback format.

Well! A bitch has been busy and I have made the following books all available in paperback versions. They're soooo pretty, I can't handle it!

Windows Paperback

On Caristo's Watch Paperback

A Life Sublime Paperback

The Claim Paperback

Best Laid Plans Paperback

Verde Bianco Rosso Paperback

Wynne's Surprise Paperback

Coming Around Again Paperback

Shibah's Monster Paperback

Kissing the Canvas Paperback

It's quite something to hold a paperback instead of flicking over a Kindle. And as much as I love my Kindle, I agree that there's nothing quite like the weight and scent of a delicious paperback.

Happy reading!

Sweet Mother

It was Lady London's birthday yesterday! She cooed over her flowers (a lot of flowers), her cards, telephone calls from around the world, visits, Marks and Spencer cake and scones (her bloody favourite) and tea made by my fair hand. As opinionated as we both are - we had a bit of a barney about holidays but we were sorted before the African News at 8 - we can still talk to each other. She's still here for me to have barneys with and make tea for and to take her Kelly Hoppen cast offs. So many of my dearest friends no longer have that luxury, and regardless of the relationship enjoyed or endured with their mothers, the loss of a parent cuts to the core, a wound that never quite heals. Now, I haven't beaten about the bush about challenging mother/daughter relationships - the two most difficult - Rose Asare's with Lily in Kissing the Canvas, and Joanne Abbey's with Frankie in Best Laid Plans. Yes, I need a moment...
Okay, African women have a reputation of being hard. Sometimes it's a result of being the only parent in a child's life, as in both Joanne and Rose's case, or they've experienced poverty, abandonment or similar parenting during their childhood. Both women take matters too far into their own hands, but I understand their motivation, wrong as their actions may be. And as many times as their daughters call to the Holy Trinity for help, they wouldn't be without their mothers. Don't lie to me Francesca. I know you, heaux. Conflict is easily written. Resolution is the more difficult of the two. It all takes a continuation of conversation and never let it be said Ghanaian women can't talk! When the love is there, however deep down it is, there is hope that there can be a new start and something that will leave no regrets, only the best of memories for what has been shared.
All in all, Happy Birthday Lady London! Keep the stories coming - they're working!

Let The Music Play

Goodness, one does double up on the tracks! There are songs that I naturally gravitate to when I write, or edit because they instantly take me where I need to go, emotionally, mentally... Someone's going to report me one day and I'll end up explaining myself to the police, won't I?

Soundtrack ahoy!

Kissing the Canvas on Spotify

1. Arcade Fire - We Used To Wait
2. Bastille - Pompeii Kat Krazy Remix
3. Charlotte OC - Colour My Heart
4. Laura Mvula - Green Garden
5. Nicki Minaj - Superbass
6. Lana Del Rey - Brite Lites
7. The Joy Formidable - Wolf's Law
8. Disclosure ft Eliza Doolittle - You & Me
9. Florence + The Machine - Only If For A Night
10. Chris Malinchak - So Good to Me
11. Jennifer Lopez ft Pitbull - Dance Again
12. Sia - Kill and Run
13. Kanye West - Bound 2
14. Kasabian - Shoot the Runner
15. Adele - Rolling in the Deep
16. Jessie Ware - Wildest Moments
17. Janelle Monae - Tightrope (No Big Verse)
18. Interpol - The Specialist 
19. Bloc Party - SRXT
20. Rudimental ft John Newman- Feel the Love

Replay

With a shiny new cover, I thought I'd reblog the music that inspired and pushed this little (long) tale along to the very end. Play it loud - it's summer ready!

Arcade Fire - We Used To Wait

Bastille - Pompeii Kat Krazy Remix

Charlotte OC - Colour My Heart

Laura Mvula - Green Garden

Nicki Minaj - Superbass

Lana Del Rey - Brite Lites

The Joy Formidable - Wolf's Law

Disclosure ft Eliza Doolittle - You & Me

Florence + The Machine - Only If For A Night

Chris Malinchak - So Good to Me

Jennifer Lopez ft Pitbull - Dance Again

Sia - Kill and Run

Kanye West - Bound 2

Kasabian - Shoot the Runner

Adele - Rolling in the Deep

Jessie Ware - Wildest Moments

Janelle Monae - Tightrope (No Big Verse)

Interpol - The Specialist 

Bloc Party - SRXT

Rudimental ft John Newman- Feel the Love

KTC Amazon

KTC ARe

Again

Have you seen my beautiful new cover? Isn't is gorgeous? I have to give full props to the wonderful Bree Archer who calmly dealt with my demands. You can find her here: http://breearcher.com/

I hope it's enticing you to give my little (57k word little) tale on illegal marriages a read over. Go on... It's a little bit Russian, a little bit sexy and a lot of lovin'!

Find me:

https://www.allromanceebooks

http://www.amazon.com

Read me:

Pasha flexed his fists back and forth until his father’s presence wasn’t settling on his skin any more. He glanced at the girl, Miss Asare. Her face was creamy coffee, set with righteous indignation, rose tinted lips tight in anger. She was giving him the sort of look he always got from South London girls. What the fuck is your problem?

If only they knew. “Miss Asare, please don’t think I don’t know how you feel. We both have fathers who disappoint us.”

“Your father is helping you.”

“No. He’s helping himself. It doesn’t seem like it but… It’s a way to help himself,” Pasha thought for a moment. “But at the same time, both of us can get out from under our parents. You do this and your father never asks you for a penny again. I do this and...” He hesitated.

“And what?”

“And you save me.”

She laughed. “I think you can handle your own daddy issues.”

“I can’t,” he admitted with a wry smile. “He’s got a gun to my head. I’ve done something that means... I’m sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“It’s Lily, Mr. Articulation. What’s your problem?”

Apart from you right now? He thought. “I’ve got a father who’s hanging my bad deeds over my head. He pulls me into this, he’s in just as much shit as me. We’d be even.”

She breathed out noisily. “I can’t be dealing with this. I can’t.”

“Don’t you want to be free of him? Don’t you want this to be the last time he calls you because he’s lost all his money?”

“There is never a last time,” Lily cried. “I am always bailing him out. I am always writing cheques, and paying people off, and picking him up from police stations. I can’t do it anymore. What in God’s name makes you think that this will be the last time?”

“Because I can blacklist him,” Pasha said. “My father wouldn’t do it because he thought there was something to be gained from him, but I can make sure no betting shop touches him with fishing pole.”

“Barge pole,” Lily corrected, watching him suspiciously. “You’d do that? Make sure he can’t gamble anymore?”

“Not just betting shops but casinos, arcades. Everywhere. But you need to help me too. I’m running out of time here, Lily. I need to have my immigration documents sorted in the next few months.”

He could see her contemplating. His father could never read women. Lily’s concern wasn’t with money or the business, it was being unchained from her pathetic parent. “You wouldn’t need to worry about him again. Because with people like your father, he needs to hit the floor. And because of you, he hasn’t done that yet. He’ll find help by himself if I get you to stop.”

She turned to the side, presenting a profile that reminded him of the Nefertiti statue in the British Museum, a few curls winding along her neck. “I need to think about this.”

“I understand. Here,” he held out his hand. “Let me give you my number. You can talk to me, not my father. How much time do you need?”

“The last day of never would be helpful.”

Pasha bit on his lip to recall his patience. “How about this time on Sunday? Gives you a few days.”

“Why are you being nice to me?”

“Because I like to think you and I understand each other. We’re in the same position.”

“Crap dads? Yeah, definitely.” She dug into her bag and handed over her phone. “You just-”

“I’m phone friendly,” he assured her with a half smile. He dialled in his number, dropped a call to his phone, and added his name to her phone book. “There.”

She took the phone back from him. “What would I even tell my friends, my mum? Oh my god, my mother!”

Anything that would mean the Home Office would leave them alone until after he was granted citizenship would be good. “Just think about this first. Then we can get our stories together. We do share a language. A culture. A history. I wouldn’t expect a single thing from you other than changing the address for a few bills and a quick ceremony at the nearest registry office.”

Lily put the phone back in her bag. “I need to get out of here. Ummm. I’ll call you.”

He needed something, something just to hook her into the briefest notion that this could possibly work out and for the best. He curled his fingers around her forearm, pulling her gently closer to him. “Thank you Lily,” he murmured, touching his mouth ever so softly to hers. The flavour of toffee lingered on his lips. He wondered what on earth she had smeared on her mouth that made her taste that way.

“Um, okay, bye,” she muttered, turning and disappearing out of the changing room. His father eventually came inside, just as he was tugging on his gloves.

“I always bring the solutions,” he gloated. “No one would think twice that you’re not in a real relationship. You’re both the right age and she’s a good Russian girl who wouldn’t let anything happen to her papa. He’d hand her over for a five pound note.”

Pasha stared at his father until the older man started squirming uncomfortably. “She’s thinking about it. If anything happens to her, or her father before then, you’ll have to find a solution for yourself. She is a good girl. Who doesn’t deserve this.”

“Pasha, you go too far. I’ve done what I can for you. The only reason you are in this mess is because you put yourself in it.”

“The only reason I am here is because you dragged me here!”

“And you think you could have survived Russian prison? Boy, I have wiped your arse for too long.”

Pasha punched his gloved fists together which made his father jump backwards. “No one asked you to interfere.”

“It’s not interference if it’s for your own good. You wait, once you have citizenship, your career will fly. The sponsors are chomping at the bit to sign you. You’ll be on an international level, presenting for the Olympics... you will be truly great. And you will thank me for doing this for you. You will Pasha.”

“As long as you have a footnote in my biography?” Pasha sneered. “I’ve told you, leave that girl alone. This grand plan only works if I cooperate.” Pasha made his way towards the changing room doors. “And if I don’t, don’t think for a minute that I won’t take you down with me.”

Pasha saw the flicker of fear in his father’s face before he brushed past him to train. He always worked more easily when he pictured his father’s face on the bag. 

Cinderella Man

As promised, Kissing the Canvas is now on Amazon! Enjoy! And in case you haven't quite been persuaded to allow a blunt Russian to challenge your Italian allegiances, have a read:

Kissing the Canvas on Amazon

Blurb:

Russian boxer, Pasha Markovitch, has everything in his corner, looks, potential for Olympic greatness, and speed of powerful fists professionals only dream of. There’s just one small issue. If he can’t find a solution to his current visa situation, he’ll be out of the UK and ducking and weaving with government standard silver bracelets on his wrists. The pressures of his father’s greed and the anxiety of a past that continues to knock him down, steadily wear on him until chance leads him to green fingered, sarcastic mouthed, Liliana Asare who offers the light of a reprieve. Coming to an arrangement of mutual exchange, they both get what they want. Pasha gets to stay in the country and Liliana gets the financing for her florist shop. The whole scenario is perfect enough to list. Woman willing to marry him so he doesn’t end up deported and she doesn’t end up losing her livelihood? Check. Avaricious father satisfied? Check. Falling in love with his fake wife? Wait, that’s not on the list…

Note: This is simply a romance and not a guide as to how to stay in the UK with a marriage of convenience. The law on that changed in July 2012, but at the time of writing, this is absolutely correct. So if it happens that the Home Office Minister reads this story, it’s just fiction. As changeable as your job…

Excerpt:

Ten jabs per arm and he was now feeling the strain in his muscles. It was less than before when he reached two hundred, but he felt the itch of someone watching him. Pasha held the bag still, catching his breath. “Lukasz. What do you want?”
His brother crumpled the bag of crisps in his hand and threw it over his shoulder, leaping down from the pile of mats stacked in the corner of the exercise room of the gym. “Let’s talk about Lily.”
Pasha gritted his teeth, and rather than answer, he turned back to the bag and continued his repetitions.
“What for?”
“You’ve never been so secretive,” Lukasz said then corrected himself immediately, “Alright, but as your dearest sibling, I’d like to know something about the girl who’s locked you down. Tits like a championship belt?”
Pasha turned and slammed a gloved fist squarely in between Lukasz’s eyebrows. Not at all expecting such a response, Lukasz’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he toppled over, kissing the canvas. It was an old boxing term for being knocked out. Pasha returned to the punching bag, jiggling on the spot until the tension disappeared from his frame and he was able to continue his practice until Lukasz regained consciousness. A brief flash of guilt told him that he should really stop punching his brother unconscious but he’d stop doing it when his brother wasn’t a complete idiot. “What happened?”
“You were talking about tits and you passed out,” Pasha explained calmly. He held the bag still as his brother got to his feet.
“That doesn’t sound right. You were going to tell me about my shiny new sister-in-law to be.”
Better to get this over with now. “She’s half Russian, her father’s an idiot, her mother’s bitter, her brother is apparently alright, but treating the whole thing like a joke.”
“Good. That’s her family. What about her?”
“She has ambitions. She wants to start her own business but can’t do it in the middle of an economic crisis where banks have no give. She’s very smart. And she’s decent.”
Lukasz grinned. “Oh yeah? What about when she’s naked.” Pasha fought for calm. “No.” His answer was a mistake.
Lukasz interest piqued. “Oh I see. She hasn’t let you inside the gates of heaven.”
“I am not talking about my sex life. It’s not your concern.”
Lukasz grinned. “That sounds like a man unfulfilled. May I helpfully suggest the following? Maxwell. Alcohol. Candles. No woman can resist that combination. You should really test drive before you buy. Check for defects.” He shouldn’t do it, and Lily had sent him the text stating that it was for emergencies only and if she found out he had used it for anything else, he would lose not only his manhood but his head. Despite nearly being a foot taller than his wife to be, he believed that she would tear him a new arsehole if she had a hint of a waiver from his promise. But this, definitely counted as an emergency. His brother would need to be on side.
“Come on.” Pasha sighed, heading towards the changing rooms. He threw his gloves onto the benches and opened his locker, removing his mobile. With a short, sharp scroll through his messages he handed his phone to his brother. “See? No defects.” It was a picture of Lily in a bra that had less material than it was probably worth, taking a picture of her reflection in a full length mirror. What about this one? She had written underneath it. The glossy black layers of the bra gave a little more richness to her creamy coffee skin. Lukasz was still looking, a gleam of appreciation in his eyes.
“Hmm, not bad little bro. A little on the round side.” Pasha stilled. What was that? Was that an insult? To Lily? “Are you calling my fiancée fat?” he asked delicately.
Lukasz heard the warning in his voice and started, “Fuck, don’t hit me again.”
“Just because you can’t play her rib cage like a musical instrument does not mean she is fat. She’s…” So crazy sexy in this photo I nearly drove to her flat and fucked her raw? 
“Fine as she is.” Lukasz handed the phone back to him. “You must be in love to say all that bull crap and mean it.” Pasha’s grip tightened on the phone. “Get out.” His brother’s green eyes gleamed.
“Aren’t you going to ask me to be best man?”
Pasha swore so violently in Russian that Lukasz was a cloud of dust running from the changing room.
Short sighted fool, he thought furiously. Lily’s cheekbones were more angled than most of the women splashed across magazines. So her stomach and thighs were a little soft? Who wanted to sleep on the floor when you could rest on a mattress? She was more than fine as she was. He looked down at the picture again and wondered why the newly christened ‘numpty’ Steven, the recipient of such visual Viagra, had simply given Lily away. It didn’t matter, it was Pasha’s gain. In having a British wife, he corrected himself hastily. A fake one at that. Because if Lily was his real fiancée, he’d have seen that underwear in all its shaded glory, peeled it from her, maybe with his teeth, or just left it on her, the bra pushed under her breasts, and the panties hooked to the side while he fucked her slowly and deeply, so that the next time she even thought about that underwear, her pussy would echo how it trembled with orgasms. He turned the phone off sharply and locked it up. He needed a shower. At least to make his cock calm down. There was no point in getting even remotely excited. Lily was off limits. She was not going to be his real wife. And she would not be showing him what colour underwear she had on any time soon.

Russian Roulette

Happy Saturday! I've got a release party happening on the TRS website right here: http://trsparties.com/2014/03/22/russian-roulette-adult-excerpt/

Join in for the chance to win a copy of the book! Good luck!

Punching in a Dream

Music to fall in love with your fake spouse to! The songs range from what I was listening to at the start of the writing process to the songs that pulled me through a surprisingly painless edit. This is the first story where I had the cover first and wrote a story to match exactly what is going on in the picture. Not sure I'll ever do that again! So, for you, this is the soundtrack to Lily and Pasha's story...

http://beautifultroublepublishing.com/genres/new-releases-home-page/kissing-the-canvas-ebook.html

1. Arcade Fire - We Used To Wait
2. Bastille - Pompeii Kat Krazy Remix
3. Charlotte OC - Colour My Heart
4. Laura Mvula - Green Garden
5. Nicki Minaj - Superbass
6. Lana Del Rey - Brite Lites
7. The Joy Formidable - Wolf's Law
8. Disclosure ft Eliza Doolittle - You & Me
9. Florence + The Machine - Only If For A Night
10. Chris Malinchak - So Good to Me
11. Jennifer Lopez ft Pitbull - Dance Again
12. Sia - Kill and Run
13. Kanye West - Bound 2
14. Kasabian - Shoot the Runner
15. Adele - Rolling in the Deep
16. Jessie Ware - Wildest Moments
17. Janelle Monae - Tightrope (No Big Verse)
18. Interpol - The Specialist 
19. Bloc Party - SRXT
20. Rudimental ft John Newman- Feel the Love

Knocks You Down

Well this took its sweet time to come around! I started writing this story coming up to three years ago. Appalling isn't it. But like I said in another post, it was all getting a bit too close for comfort so I shelved it. Until the harassment... I mean, encouragement of Janet Eckford and Nikki Winter I felt threatened... I mean gently nudged into completing it. Now it's all done, polished, fighting fit and ready for reading. Oh and you may have a tingle in the brain that you've met Lily before. Have a lookie see in the last story in the Season of Love Vol 1 Wynne's Surprise. Lily makes a cameo...

Truth is stranger than fiction. I cannot say this enough. Trust me, the madness of this story wouldn't have been written if things like (well you'll see) hadn't happened and I hadn't a front seat to it all. I didn't have popcorn, but I may as well have. Strap yourselves in folks. It's gonna be a bumpy ride...

Kissing the Canvas-ebook. BTP

Reklama, da?

Russian boxer, Pasha Markovitch, has everything in his corner, looks, potential for Olympic greatness, and speed of powerful fists professionals only dream of. There’s just one small issue. If he can’t find a solution to his current visa situation, he’ll be out of the UK and ducking and weaving with government standard silver bracelets on his wrists. The pressures of his father’s greed and the anxiety of a past that continues to knock him down, steadily wear on him until chance leads him to green fingered, sarcastic mouthed, Liliana Asare who offers the light of a reprieve. Coming to an arrangement of mutual exchange, they both get what they want. Pasha gets to stay in the country and Liliana gets the financing for her florist shop. The whole scenario is perfect enough to list. Woman willing to marry him so he doesn't end up deported and she doesn't end up losing her livelihood? Check. Avaricious father satisfied? Check. Falling in love with his fake wife? Wait, that’s not on the list... 

Note: This is simply a romance and not a guide as to how to stay in the UK with a marriage of convenience. The law on that changed in July 2012, but at the time of writing, this is absolutely correct. So if it happens that the Home Office Minister reads this story, it’s just fiction. As changeable as your job… 

Vyderzhka, da?

Pasha felt a poke in his chest and looked down at Lily. “I said, they’re not watching.”

He frowned. Had that been the point of getting up to dance? So their family members wouldn’t stare at them? In the lithe movements of their bodies, melded in the heat and dry ice of the club, lights catching Lily’s hair, the sheen on her cheekbones and the gloss on her lips... he’d entirely forgotten. He did suppose Lily had some explaining to do, now that he was the overlap between the end of her relationship with Steven and their forthcoming marriage. In his book, the less said the better. It wasn’t anyone’s concern or shouldn’t be anyone’s concern what Lily did with her love life.

“Do you want to go outside?”

She gave a short nod and with his hand curled around her arm, he led them to the smoking area of the club and sat her down at the far end, away from the smokers, huddling under the outdoor heaters. “What’s the matter?” he asked her.

“Isn’t this stressing you? All this lying?”

“I’m not lying, I’m simply not talking,” he corrected. She wrapped her arms around herself. “What did Lukasz say to you?”

“He said I was far too sexy to be getting married and certainly too sexy to be marrying you.”

Pasha grimaced. “He’s an idiot.”

She didn’t disagree with him, which concluded she felt the same. “Agnes keeps flirting with you.”

He noted her tone and tilted his head to the side. What was that about? “I’m not paying attention if that helps.” She gave a shrug and rubbed her arms faster. “Are you cold?”

“I’ll be alright, if it gives us breathing space from the theatre in there.”

“So this Steven...” he trailed off. Interested in the response, he shuffled closer until their bare arms were pressed together.

“You’re like a radiator,” she murmured, frowning at him. “Oh, Steven. I thought we were going to get married and all the joys that come with it. I wouldn’t have moved in with him otherwise.”

“But now your family thinks you cheated on him. With me.”

She glanced down, her curls tumbling around her face. “Better that way.”

He sighed heavily. “You shouldn’t have done that. You’ve made your life unnecessarily complicated.”

“Me?”

“Our lives.”

“Haven’t you ever?”

His mouth tightened in disapproval. “No. I see it as senseless. If you’re so enamoured, you can wait. You should wait until that person is free to be with you. Why cause such destruction over a relationship that has little to no chance of success.”

She pushed a hand through her curls, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. “Why say that?”

“I’m like you, remember? Child of divorce. There are very few people worthy of trust and I don’t give it lightly. People behave very selfishly. Not conducive to a successful relationship. The world we live in, in a short few years, every single marriage will be doomed to failure.”

“That’s a sad way to think of things.”

Life was sad. “Realistic,” he corrected. “Nothing lasts forever. Certainly not an emotion as fleeting as love.” She didn’t take her eyes from his face and he saw the pity in her eyes. “It’s better that way.” He assured her, getting up and pulling her to her feet. “Less chance of being disappointed. Come on. You’re cold.”

Her acquiescence pleased him. Fighting would always cause more damage than good, inevitably leading to a wider range of feelings he should not for one minute have for his fake bride to be.

Love Changes Everything...

Happy Valentine's Day! Tis a joy and tis a wonder that love is in the air. Love is everywhere! See the day as the time to celebrate the years you've had with your significant other; to embrace the wonderful person you are; to reconnect with someone you've lost; to start afresh. Love knows no boundaries. Love knows nothing of time. With all that sappy nonsense, enjoy the last story of my Season of Love.

Wynne’s Surprise © Billy London 

Wynne made her way to the florist, trying to stifle her disappointment. Everything had gone wrong. The cancellation of her flight to Tunisia for a week’s holiday, the argument she’d had with her boyfriend and worst of all, the weather. Wind, rain, rain, rain. My god the rain. If one more newscaster told her it was the wettest winter since records began, she’d drive to the studio and hurt someone. All of them. Badly. 

The florist in Dulwich was her favourite and the assistant always made the most beautiful bouquets. People complained that only rich people bought flowers, but they made the most incredible difference to her little flat. She needed cheering up and this was her one vice. 

She struggled to get inside the florist, customers were crowding the shop. Wynne recognised the owner at the front, picking his nails, while the two assistants wrapped and served their patrons. With a sigh, she pulled out her phone, looking for a message from her boyfriend. They’d only been together for six months. Everything was still so new and the holiday was to be their first real test as a couple. Instead, they’d fought over something as tiny and pathetic as their insurance and it escalated. All her insecurities as to why Robert was with her at all surfaced and she threw them at him. Pride stopped her from calling him and apologising. And he obviously felt the same way. Why was everyone in here?

Oh god... Hearts, red roses by the dozen, men frantically buying... Day of Doom. There was no message from The Flick - she called him that, because he was always pushing his hair out of his eyes. 

“Hi there, what can I get you?” 

She hadn’t realised the queue had moved so quickly. “I’m... I don’t even know.”

The assistant had a name tag that read Lily. Her face was set in sympathy. “What’s your name?”

“Wynne.”

“Wynne Jones?” she asked. 

Wynne frowned. “Yeah...”

Lily gave a nod and turned around. “Just a minute, I’ve got something for you.”

She disappeared into the back while Wynne waited nervously for Lily to return. She came back into the shop only her cherry-wood curls visible from behind the massive bouquet of flowers. It was the most beautiful arrangement she’d ever seen - red roses, clematis, tulips and jasmine all combined in artistic flair. “Wynne?” Lily called from behind the bouquet. 

“I’m here!” She tilted her head to the left and Lily did the same, her smile coming from around the cellophane wrapping. 

“These are for you. Have a lovely day.”

“Wait, what? Don’t I owe... What the?”

“Bought and paid for. There’s a card in there.”

Wynne couldn’t believe it. Who would know to have her favourite florist make up an extraordinary bouquet for her, that even in the middle of a shop filled with flowers, smelled like a perfumers laboratory. Wynne reached around the bouquet and shook Lily’s hand. “Thank you so much. I tell everyone how amazing you are.”

Lily shook her head, hiding behind her curls. “That’s really nice of you. Honestly, have a fantastic day.”

Wynne hurried out of the florist, throwing to the pot bellied boss, “Your Lily’s the best thing about this place!” 

Breathing in the jasmine and roses, she cradled the precious bouquet and walked to her flat. Once inside, she put the bouquet down and opened the card, waiting to see Robert’s name at the end of the card. She had to blink several times before she understood the name she saw. With a brief shake of her head, she dialed his number, her hands vibrating so badly, his name blurred on the screen. “Hi. Can you come over? Okay. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Sitting down, her eyes travelled between the card and the bouquet. Someone really was planting their flag. For her. Finally the doorbell rang and she rushed to answer it. He sent her a shy smile and Wynne simply stepped to the side for him to enter. 

“Dude...” she started, waving her hands to the items that changed her understanding of her life in seconds.

“What did I miss?” Bren asked genially.

Bren, her friend, the friend who had talked her through her troubles with Robert, the friend who answered her text messages and decoded Robert’s one worded responses, the friend she’d maybe had a fumble with at a summer barbecue a million years ago... Had done this. 

“Why...”

“Why’ve I made the effort I should have done before Robert started messing you about? I don’t know. I did warn him that if he didn’t leave you alone, I’d rip him to pieces and he knew I wasn’t joking so... Are you really surprised?”

Wynne sat down and covered her cheeks with her hands. “I’m... A thousand things.”

“Do you love him?” 

Her mouth moved before her brain caught up. “No. I mean... I thought I was getting there.”

“Why not?”

Prodding twit. “Because of you! You were in the background guiding everything, so no I didn’t love him and no, I clearly couldn’t trust him. And I wonder if I can trust you.”

Bren clasped his hands together, looking at the space between his knees. “I meant what I said in the card.”

“We can’t go away together!” she blustered.

He raised his eyebrows. “Why not? You’ve got the holiday booked, I’ve got flights that are definitely leaving tomorrow morning. I’ve got extra Valium in case you’re flying fear picks up again... In two days, everything here will feel like it happened a year ago.” Bren got to his feet and knelt beside her, his hands braced on her thighs. “Wynnie...” Resolve. Falling. Away... “There’s this thing between you and me. And I don’t think it’s ever going away until we do something about it.”

Shut up brain, just be quiet! ”Can you get me a glass of water please?”

Bren rose to his full height, and with a careless brush over her cheek he disappeared to the kitchen. Flopping back against her sofa, Wynne screamed silently holy shiiiiiiiiiiiiit! What do I do? The immediate answer was, “Go, you silly bitch. Go. Beach. Shopping. Food. Shisha. Bren. Bren naked.”

She closed her eyes for a moment. Bren in swimming trunks. Bren sharing a tagine with her. Bren handing her the pipe from a shisha. Bren kissing his way over her back and untying the top of her bikini. A shiver rippled over her, shaking her shoulders. Oh god, she hadn’t felt like that around Robert, even in their earliest days. Oh god! What about Robert? She got up and checked her phone. Silent. Not a text, not an email, nothing. 

“Do you want to get something to eat, while you think about it?” Bren asked from the doorway, stretching an arm out to hand her the water. She took it warily from him and gulped. 

“I think...” she said, putting the glass down, “I need to pack. What about you?”

Bren’s grin brightened the room. “My case is in the car.”

“Bit ahead of yourself, aren’t you?” she challenged as he came closer to her. A frisson of awareness trickled over her spine as he placed his hands on her hips, pulling her into his body. 

He gently traced the line of her mouth with butterfly light kisses. “I just wasn’t going to let you say no. Not again.”

Wynne fell completely under his spell, under his kiss and under his weight as he edged her towards and then deliciously onto the sofa. 

On the table her phone vibrated across the wood, Robert’s number flashing on the screen.