Perfect Ten

 

 

Happy Ten Year Anniversary to me then!

It really has been a whole decade since I thought, lemme add banging to this story about a Mafia guy called Nick in love with his best mate called Gina. Then lemme put it on Literotica. Then lemme get a publisher (enter stage left Jayha Leigh). Then lemme get absolutely stoned in Brighton and figure out a way to add another fifty thousand words to it. (Enter Hot Muse Hank to tell me “bitch, add more sex!”) Lemme give you some Tony Caristo, sprinkle in a little Rocco Mamione and a healthy dash of Beppe Nardiello. Oh and if we’re adding a little spice to the mix, Gianluca Caristo warmed by Durante Da Canaveze all under the heat that is Sir Massimo Da Canaveze. Lemme give you some of my favourite places, my favourite shops, my favourite things to do, lemme share a little trauma coz it’s good to share. And ten years later, here we are. 

So, as if it were a lifetime achievement award (I’d like a BAFTA one day) let me say some thank yous:

The Lady London and her ever patient squire Papa London. What would I have done without you spelling out words in Fante to me and asking why only to be thoroughly distracted by watching something on TV instead. 

My bros, endless sources of amusement! 

Hot Muse Hank, where would I be without your guidance? 

Ms Jayha Leigh for finding me and testing me and encouraging me and introducing me to my next big thanks

The Queen of Hearts, Barb Wilson, the most magical of editors. There are things I wouldn’t have linked or understood or even come up with in the absence of your wonderful, magical guiding hands.

My fellow authors especially Janet Eckford and Nikki Winter and Violette Dubrinsky. I’m a solo artist by my very definition, but solo artists do have producers and sound mixers and all sorts. They have collaborators who will tell you ‘nah, son a little to your left.” I'm so grateful for the time they gave to me. 

And finally, my readers. You, yes, I’m looking right at you! Thank you. I thought Windows was a pump and dump, to be fair. I thought it was finished and nothing else would come of it. I didn’t think I’d be writing about Massimo’s elegant feet or Tony’s propensity to smack a bare bottom or Auntie Belinda’s love of swimming or Rocco’s tattoos or Beppe’s Prince Albert piercing! Yet, here we are. Because you asked, maybe threatened to cut me a little if I didn’t.

And I’ve expanded that little universe to my other stories and I’m getting back to a place where I can write just as freely about new characters. I love writing. I always have. I always will. Let’s see what the next ten is about. Got to be wilder than this!

 

    

Celebration

Omfg, where did a whole decade go? I had a memory pop up the other day on my mobile to remind me that on 16 February 2021, it will be ten whole years since Windows was published. I mean... what the hell happened? 

I'm actally shocked to reach this milestone, I truly am! Remember the first cover for Windows and I put it on a cake? May have to do that again for next Tuesday, pop a few bottles and drift into the bliss of a hell of an achievement. 

I'll do something for you guys as well - I have to I mean I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for you. And probably me and Lady London getting absolutely wasted in Kos, wandering through the Greek supermarket and buying all sorts of rubbish in sight. The way you guys embraced my darling Nicky and his little blue flower Gina, the way I've tattooed Nick's surname on my body that gets me the side eye on the regular. It's on my hip but a little to close to the kitty cat and to date, it's my only tattoo, its's truly taken over my life in the best possible way. I'm so happy that my stories have touched you, made you a little bit horny, intrigued you, inspired you, and become a fond memory, like an old friend. If I could hug you all (sans this panoramic business) I would. And a la Sofia buy you a bottle of champagne, I'd do that too. 

Last and by no means least, Jayha Leigh deserves my biggest thanks. She saw something, a spark that led to an Italian fire that is now eternal. Thank you Jayha, forever and a day. 

Cheers ma dears! Per centi anni! 

Begin Again

Hey hey! This took foreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever, but it's ready! Paperbacks of my lengthy stories and definitely all of the IKs are coming. And we start where we always do. Book One. I was going to refer to another type of beginning, but we're only seven days into a new year and I don't want to get struck by God's lightning of justice!

Breathe in those sweet smelling pages. I have pages! It's so pretty in person, I couldn't quite believe it was my book when it turned up on Christmas Eve, like the best of presents! If Sofia Da Canaveze had her way, they'd be gently sprayed with Diptyque. But I don't have Da Canaveze money so, we're going to have to stay with paper. It's not a wrong decision, it is what it is Sof. Allow it, okay? Haven't you got a store to run?

The interference will never, ever end...

Windows Paperback

Back Again

It's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Windows is available for purchase again. I've messed around with it enough. With my little added extras, I'm pleased it's back out there for new readers to discover, and for my old faithfuls (you know who you are!). To celebrate the re-release and honour the fact that three years have passed since it was first published, I'm offering it at a 30% discount for the next 3 weeks!! Well I would if Amazon would let me. The discount will take place from 27 August. More deets to follow!

If you don't know how important this book is to me, let me re-share.

Four years ago, my mother and I went to Greece. Our first girls holiday. We fought, we laughed until we cried, we got absolutely muntered and we baked our skins into next level darkness. Metaxa brandy is lethal. I can't tell you everything that was happening in my life at that time, but let's just say the holiday was a looooooooong time coming. And in the midst of sipping the booze, slapping away mosquitoes, I began re-writing a story I made up when I was eleven.

I kept the loose leaves of paper under a mosquito repellent candle and wrote pages and pages by hand. Lady London was the one (under severe influence) who told me to type it up. Let other people read it. Essentially telling me to stop keeping things in. That if I couldn't talk about my feelings, then to express them in writing. So I did.

And 80,000 typed words later in February 2011, it was published. Liked, loathed, loved in varying measures. It amazed me how people connected. Whether they found Gina infuriating or Nick overbearing or the rude auntie Belinda hilarious or Sofia as a star in waiting. To see them telling me how they couldn't believe two people could be so oblivious to each other's feelings for so long (been there, done that) or that the connection between my hero and heroine touched them.

There has rarely been a time in my life when I haven't put pen to paper. While it's allowed me to exercise some squatting demons, it's also allowed me to make the most amazing friends and meet the most incredible people from all over the world. I feel very blessed about what I do and it all started with this book. My first love. So here it is, once again. The story that started it all....

Windows on Amazon

Talk That Talk

So in the lead up to IK5, Massimo and Belinda's story, which is starting to make me feel a little embarrassed about how they completely lack any sexual inhibition but we'll get to that. I'm doing some in depth questions with the Italian Knights and their ladies of the realm of London, just so you feel you're up to snuff and ready for number 5.

First Up... Book 1, Windows and the delightfully obtuse Nick and Gina:

·         Who are you closest to?

Nick

Gina Robinson. She’s my female best friend. If I don’t distinct that, someone called Caristo is going to have a bitch fit. Gina and I met at university, hated it and decided to drop out. Life decisions that bond people forever. That and her killer body. She’s gorgeous.

Gina

Did Nick say me? He better have. We’ve shared some pretty hardcore things together. I mean, he’s seen me throw up after snake blood shots in Thailand. Wait, why am I friends with him again?

• What is your earliest memory?

 Nick

Probably running around my parents’ villa in Naples. I couldn’t have been more than three or four. Reminds me why I love Italy. When Paul was older, I’d chase him around the villa. My dad had to stop me from throwing him face first into our swimming pool. What? I didn’t want to kill him, he was being rude.

Gina

Erm, having my scalp yanked by my mum while she plaited my hair. We were in our old living room and it was dark outside, so maybe it was winter time. The older I got, the less the scalp yanking bothered me. I’m glad we shared that.

• What is your biggest fear?

 Nick

Admitting certain things and losing my best friend because of it. Female best friend, Jesus Tony, why are you so fucking insecure?

Gina

Being alone. It starts with secrets then grows into putting distance from your friends and then… No one calls you, no one wants to speak to you, no one comes to see you. It’s sad.

• What are you best at?

 Nick

You want the PG version or…? Yeah, it’s exactly what you’re thinking.

Gina

Cooking. I’d love to see anyone test me on a Beef Wellington.

• Tell us something that will shock us.

 Nick

If I tell you then I’d have to kill you. For real. I’m not even joking.

Gina

I kinda have an inappropriate crush on my best friend that’s developed into full blown secret love, but don’t tell him. Actually, let me think of something else and I’ll tell you. Don’t print this. Please.

• What do you value in a partner?

 Nick

A willingness to forgive. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and I’m going to make mistakes. Obviously, I’ll do everything and anything to make it up, but I’d love it if it wasn’t thrown in my face over and over again.

Gina

Hard, toned, muscled abs. I’m shallow. So what?

• Describe the last time you remember feeling really happy.

 Nick

Any time it’s just me and Gina. With beer and pizza.

Gina

Really, giggly, this shouldn’t ever end happy? Me and Nick in Thailand, watching the sunset, smoking something we probably shouldn’t have because I really don’t remember what happened the next day. It was a stoned blur.

• What is your biggest regret?

Nick

There was a question I wanted to ask Gina and I punked out. I should have just asked, dick boyfriend or no.

Gina

I could give you a list. They’re all up there.

• What is the one thing you would change about your life?

Nick

My job. It’d make my life so much easier if I didn’t do it.

Gina

My marital status. Nick and I went to his cousin’s wedding and I watched them and thought, why the hell isn’t that me yet? Come on Nicholas, let’s do this!

• What item can't you live without?

 Nick

My glasses. I feel like a mole without them.

Gina

Dude, I have the best food mixer ever. Had. I sold it. I miss it. That’s why I’m depressed, I miss my mint green food mixer. 

And there we are. If you've read the book, you can read between those sparse lines that blogger won't let me change. Booo. Next week, Tony and Lydia!

A Rose Is Still A Rose

I think I'm terrible at coming up with titles. Although Put Out The Zombie will forever be a moment of genius that will make me laugh every time I remember the eureka moment! If you ask me how I came up with @Last, that's straight forward. Internet, waiting a long time, girl who can sing - Ella Fitzgerald At Last. Took me ages though.

Windows was more complicated. Only because it started in the mind of an eleven year old Billy looking to win a writing competition. Swear down, without the sex, Windows was created twenty years ago. And now you all know how old I am. Boooooo. So eleven year old me comes up with this idea of a girl who is being harassed by loan sharks and her best friend who's desperately in love with her saves her from it all. I like to think the reason I didn't win the competition was the fact that I made my apparent hero a bad guy. This is the original ending for the story. Nick set it up so Gina would have to come to him for help. Isn't that messed up? For eleven? No, I haven't had therapy, but I spent a lot of time reading rather dodgy material.

So I thought, about things that break, things that are transparent, things that show freedom but an absence can mark entrapment. Things that are a gateway to hope and show altogether a world outside that can hold everything hurtful. Where everyone can see inside and judge and you can look out and send that judgement right back two fold. Windows. Plus if you think about it, all the good/crazy stuff happens right in view of windows. Honest. Oh come on, I was young!