Wild Thing

Shibah's Monster is now available on Amazon! Be gentle with my Polish Beast. He needs love and attention. Lots of it.

http://www.amazon.com/ShibahsMonster

Speak Now

Since it's a Bank Holiday, I thought I'd share this interview with you all. So here is the last of the IK interviews. I present to you Mrs Belinda Mary Afriyie and Signor Massimo Alvise Da Canaveze It's been a long time coming...

• Who are you closest to?

Massimo 

I like to think I am now extremely close to my sons and their respective wives. We now feel like a family. It saddens me that my late wife had to pass away before that happened, but as they say, God has a plan.

Belinda

The person I was closest to died years ago. Her daughter is all I have left and we keep on fighting. She's so cheeky! What do you mean, what did I say to her?

• What is your earliest memory?

Massimo

My father teaching me how to farm olives at the villa. I have many good memories associated with the villa in Naples. When I wish to be calm or feel at peace, I think of those days. My brother will tell you how hard work feeds the soul. I am inclined to agree with him.

Belinda

Swimming with my school friends. The beach nearest to my family home had white sands, the bluest water and it was hot. Not heavy hot, but pure heat. Like oven heat. You wouldn’t know because you live in this cold country.

• What is your biggest fear?

Massimo

That my children will share the same fate as their mother. I have nothing without them.

Belinda

Being cut out of Gina's life. I made a promise to her mother and I want to keep it. If she'll let me.

• What are you best at?

Massimo

Decorating. It is a secret pleasure. Naturally you are invited to the villa to verify my skills.

Belinda

Organisation. There's a proper place for everything. Yes including paper doilies. What’s wrong with them? Araba, you have no taste.

• Tell us something that will shock us.

Massimo

You can be married to a person for thirty three years and not know them at all. It inevitably becomes somewhat of a shock when they reveal their true nature.

Belinda

I collect underwear. Frilly ones, silk ones. All for me. Why not? What else am I spending money on? Yes they do fit my bum, don’t be so rude!

• What do you value in a partner?

Massimo

Shared cultural interests. At the very least an interest in me as a person and not as a commodity. 

Belinda

Faith in me. Faith in God. 

• Describe the last time you remember feeling really happy.

Massimo

When my daughter in law told us that she was pregnant. I am most looking forward to being a grandfather. 

Belinda

When Gina invited me to her wedding in Naples and I felt so blessed. I'm not crying, what nonsense are you talking about?

• What is your biggest regret?

Massimo

I try not to have those. It would lead me to a path where I would not have my children. A life without them is inconceivable.

Belinda

Where should I begin? I wouldn’t have married that bleeding Herbert Afriyie for a start. Kwasiasem.

• What is the one thing you would change about your life?

Massimo

I would like to share my life with someone. I believe I am older and wiser to select a better partner than I did before. 

Belinda

To find someone to share my life with. Someone who won’t upset the people I know and someone who won’t upset my priest.

• What item can't you live without?

Massimo

A decent blade. How else will you delicately chop porcini mushrooms? My dear girl, I have children your age. I know that look. What I am saying is the truth. I only use knives for cooking. Perhaps take some time to calm yourself.

Belinda

Hot pepper. Proper pepper not that oily business with little chillies in them. What kind of pepper is that?

Elevation

Summer breeze, makes me feel fi-hine! It's summer. And raining, typical England. As well as a shower, thunder, lightning and spots of blistering heat whereby everyone everywhere decides it's time to get naked, summer time also means quiet patches at work. Huzzah!

There are stories which have been sitting in my hard drive, gathering dust and fading from memory and when I look back on them - it's a good thing. There are stories which have been too close to the bone, opening wounds that hadn't even started to heal and I try and disable my laptop by crying over it. Then there are the stories that with time, I can complete normally because I now can't bear having unfinished stories lying around mocking me! Following prompts, demands and general revelry with Nikki Winter and Janet Eckford, a WIP that languished in 'Unfinished Purgatory' is now complete. Mainly because in between the moments when I should be working, I've been scribbling away.

Finishing it means I now have space in my head to deal with other people who have been jostling for attention. There's nothing quite like typing "The End". It's a beautiful closure than never fails to make one smile. Getting emosh. Again. Sigh. Let me have a look on Buzzfeed. At least then it'll be tears of laughter.