The Romance Reviews

The Romance Reviews

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Getting some

So you know my muse is called Hank, right. That's just the way it is - it's a whole therapy session in waiting. Anyway, post the horrors of edits I honestly thought I'd find it squeamish to write a love scene, especially when the proofreader asks why a dick is having an emotion. It wasn't. I was confused. Yes, a good bang tale always benefits from music to inspire you as to how toe curling, skin singeing, voice box straining, window breaking amazing sex can be. A few days ago Hank, my hot muse, kindly reminded me that it's all about The XX. That they're from South London is just bonus. Ear-gasms all the way y'all...

Tuesday, 22 March 2011

Thursday, 17 March 2011

Second Album Syndrome

@Last is out to buy today! I love this story. Probably because it sails a bit too close to days where I was rather naughty myself. Yeah, I'm not explaining myself, you'll read it and the 'aha's will reign in the air. I mean do you remember when you first discovered how much more fun emails were when they had sod all to do with work, and everything to do with a man asking you to describe exactly what you're wearing and how you're going to take it off for him? And then all the expectation you have from meeting someone you've been talking to and emailing for ages - and he turns up and he's not a squat mushroom with bad breath and octopus hands! He's instead the far end of ridiculously, steal your breath, change your underwear, take the underwear off, catch me I'm going to swoon, fi-hine! Look down:

 That's the hotness I'm talking about. I was being a little silly right up this morning. I was really lucky that I had such an amazing response with Windows, I was worried that I had given my best and would not be able to meet the expectation of the next one. Mental note: I am really needy. It's all by the by, because @Last is one of my best. Ryan Klark is one of my favourite heroes. Because he is beautiful and nutty and flawed and he understands and loves my girl Courtney like no one else ever could. What am I worried about? Feel the heat people, Billy's on a roll!

Friday, 11 March 2011

Man catch up

I'm always told I watch too much TV. I can't see that as a bad thing. If I didn't watch so much TV, I'd have never 'met' Jared Leto. Jeremy London. Blair Underwood (oldie but a damn good goodie). Ian Somerhalder. Ed Westwick. Peter Facinelli (sorry fuck Twilight, he looks so much better in Nurse Jackie). Joe Manganiello - I mean goddamn, have you seen the abdominal muscles on that man? I mean good God on earth! I've kind of glanced at his face, and he's good looking, but his body is crazy. Like Michaelangelo worked him over. Oh and I'm not counting Kiefer Sutherland in 24 as man was in his own league before I even knew what the hell a TV show was. Two words. Lost Boys.

What is it about a television character that gets us all hot and bothered. Is it that they're right inside our homes, and therefore just one step away from the bedroom? Questions I'd ask myself if I wanted to give myself a headache in the eyes (thank you Jayha).

My new victim is this baby: Shiloh Fernandez. I know he has the same name as one of the Brangelina brood. We'll let it go. He was just in one episode of Gossip Girl and made me just about stay awake during Jericho but I'm all excited because he's in Red Riding Hood! And boy looks gooooood!

See now, if I didn't watch TV, I would have had no warning as to how hubba hubba on a barbecue with hot sauce and a side of wings this man is. But I do. So I'm prepared. And I won't embarrass myself in a cinema by bursting out: 'Phwooarh! He's fit!' I can do that at home. Not in public.

Yeah, he's in my bed tonight. Because I have a laptop. I'm going to socialise with real people soon, don't worry. I'm okay.

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Down the US Embassy Hole

I am going to step onto US soil tomorrow, handing in all my forms so I don't get battered on tax as a 'foreign author'. I'm foreign. HA! Very amusing, but the US Embassy is hardcore. No phones. No iPods! I mean, come on! What the hell am I supposed to do for a whole hour long journey? Oh yeah... write. Well, I tell you all how it goes and whether I get subjected to any searches! Mmm, hot security guards. Maybe I should take my phone...

Saturday, 5 March 2011


I think I can only write this horror story in day light or when everyone in the house is awake. I freaked the fuck out last night after watching this:

I had to listen to happy music and watch an episode of Boondocks just to calm down. I'm tense just thinking about it now. My problem with demonic posession is the fine line between what could be posession and what is in all likelihood a mental illness that is treatable with medication and professional help. At the moment it means I need to do more research, which means more of the above, more of me chewing my nails, and interpreting any creak in my home as Satan coming to take me to hell for calling that cyclist who tried to run me over a c*nt.

Now tonight, I'm going to put on a small dress and go to a fancy restaurant for dinner. There are no demons in Knightsbridge. There better not be. I must have a crucifix somewhere. The power of Christ compels you!

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

If you go down to the woods...

I'm still mourning the loss of a CD with about four stories on it, I'm doing a lot of re writing. Which is sort of good for the soul. There's always something you missed the first time around and I like to think it ends up better than what you wrote originally. I have to keep telling myself that or I will cry.

So I was in Suffolk this weekend in the middle of a pitch black forest. Not good. Me and forests have never got on. Ever since I was thirteen and I went away to a summer camp and someone had the bright idea of taking a evening walk... I swear to you, I heard a wolf, that's all it could have been, there was freakin' growling. My friend, three years younger at the time, fell over and I still picked her up and legged it. It was probably a twig breaking, but in my mind a drooling, mad wolf was coming to eat me. I was alright this time around. There were torches. And no howling.

As you may have noticed from the above story, I am a wimp. But I'm braving fear and horror so I can introduce you to Gabriel Walker, who is the hero of my (wait just counting - never mind) next story. Spiritual men are a wonder. Men who respect the balance of the world with unknown entities. Men who would brave the devil and his hordes for you. Men who just need a flaming sword and wings and they'd be at the gates of heaven. Did I mention he's a musician?

See the sacrifices I make for you?