The Romance Reviews

The Romance Reviews

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Old Timer

So. Massimo's the next Italian Knight. *twiddles thumbs* I can sense the doubt drifting out there and honestly, when I finished Windows, it was the last thing on my mind. Quite frankly, I'd got a load off my chest and would happily not think about any of those Da Canaveze people or what they went through again. Moreover, I'm Gina/Lyds/Annie/Frankie in age group. Why would I write something that would be inherently 'sugar daddy' ish? And I'd have to think about grey pubes. Oh, cripes, I'm so sorry, that's not helping is it? No. Right.

So there's a reason why Nick embodies so much of what will make me break out the good underwear, the stockings, the violet wands, ball gag and handcuffs. He's like his dad. We're on the same page now aren't we? If we're not, let me break it down for you. Beware. *SPOILERS* This whole play is Massimo's stage, he's been directing it since before my parents gave each other the sexy eye in South London. Does he take nonsense from people? Absolutely not. Hell if he'd had the tiniest inkling about Santori's plans, do you really think that mother fucker would have lived long enough to even try and be a blip on Nick's radar? No. Is he forgiving? One name. Mary Alice. That bitch. I still hate her. I don't think I've ever hated a character as much as I hate that bitch. Is he elegant and stylish? Uh huh! Suited and booted every day. Plays chess and listens to jazz. He is cultured, refined, educated, calculating, and his sons get all their good looks from him. *SPOILERS DONE*

I was talking to my mother about a seventy odd year old man who nearly gave his wife an STD - don't ask how I found out about this. Old people having diseased sex. Wait, wait, roll it back. Old people having sex full stop. Obviously, I was shocked out of my skin and she asked me, point blank, "Do you feel any older today than you did ten years ago?" Honestly, apart from the hangovers which take a good week to recover from? No. I don't. "Do you think I don't still feel twenty four inside, before I had you and your brothers and it was just me and your father?" Yes, mother I know. I borrowed Daddy's awesome sheepskin coat. Found a condom in the pocket from the late seventies which expired just after you two got married, so I know you two weren't all pure and such before you said your vows. Obviously, I didn't say that to her face, because I'm still alive.

The truth is, why would the same not apply to Massimo? He's a single man who needs a challenge. A nice challenge. Belinda's going to do that for him - loud, African and proud. I have aunts (African aunts - not actual blood aunts) who have been alone and abandoned for so long and then they meet someone, and good lord the freakin' scandal, you'd have thought they'd have made a sex tape of them having a threesome with Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell. (heave) But I wanted to write something that says whatever your age, it's never too late to find love. To be happy. Why not? Why waste the days of your life conforming to someone else's ideas of love and passion? Typically, Belinda's the busybody, who'd be so much happier if she was getting some on the regular. So sod it. This story is more of a love letter to Massimo and Belinda as individuals as it is a love story between the two of them. For their histories as immigrants who created lives for themselves in London; their faith; their experiences; their wisdom and their sexuality. I've learned much more about what I want for my own future in writing this and I'm really rather proud of my older people lovin'.

And by the way? He hasn't greyed. Anywhere. Alright? So there. Just wait. Massimo. My O.G. In every sense of that abbreviation.

Monday, 24 December 2012

Merry Christmas Everyone!


I love this time of year! Almost. In hindsight really. When I'm not wondering why I've spent my month's salary on Christmas presents and pate - can never have too much pate - and I'm not scratching at the front door, begging to be let out, after getting cabin fever from spending too much time in one space with my nearest and dearest or when if I see just one more slice of turkey, someone'll get hurt. Other than that? Freakin' love Christmas. I love presents and the booze. Ah, the booze. The one time I can drink in front of my parents and they don't mind how much I put away. In honour of my nostalgia, here are the two flash fictions I did. One's a paranormal and one's a contemporary - one is all for equality at this time of year. Celebrate, jubilate, however you do it, just be happy!

Merry Christmas!

Love Billy

Friday, 21 December 2012

Scavenger Hunt!

It's the first day of Winter Solstice and we've survived the end of the world - Mayan style. Huzzah! Now we're not all burning in a pit of fiery doom, how do you fancy winning some stuff to celebrate Beautiful Trouble Publishing and the epicness that will be 2013! 

Each author has a riddle and you just need to skip along each blog to see the riddle and solve them. It's like a flaming Greek myth! Without the prospect of death. We've done that already, we're all still here!

My riddle is below. If you need a clue, re read The Claim. Round about Anna and Rocco's second sex scene. Involves the use of prophylactics. You'll totally get it. 


An odd girl whose private parts are very soft.

You've come so far and yet have more to go. Click on the BTP author's names to collect more riddle answers. Once you have all 11 answers collected email Three lucky winners will be chosen at random to receive a $10 BTP gift certificate. Contest closes at 12 am 12.22.12.

Good luck! And.... GO! 

Serenity King
Drea Riley
Nevea Lane
Nikki Winter
Shirelle Higgins
Shanayah Tailor
Naomi Jones
Janet Eckford
Gynger Fyer
RaeLynn Blue

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

The Next Big Thing

I never do this, I like to keep shiz under tight wraps. Sterile and such. Anyways, these are my answers for the Next Big Thing Blog Hop.

What is your working title of your book?

At the moment, I'm calling it Franken-otica. Frankenstein inspired romantic erotica. I squish words, you know this now.

Where did the idea come from for the book?

I honestly can't remember where the premise came from. Sometimes, they knock out of left field. I do remember having a bit of a wide awake doze and having a bit of a naughty thought and immediately thinking I need to start writing now. It was supposed to a short story for Halloween and it's turned into a 30k beast with lots more to go.

What genre does your book fall under?

Erotic horror straddling paranormal and giving the sexy eye to romance.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?

Henry Cavill would play Marek (have you seen the body on that dude? The only reason to watch Immortals on repeat. I don't even remember what happened in that film. He was topless.) and Aissa Maiga would play Shibah (beautiful, French actress).

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

Death is nothing to the glory and power of love.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

I've given the ladies at Beautiful Trouble Publishing first dibs. Not sure how they'll feel about the morgue scene. Yep. I go there.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

Er... it's not finished yet. But I've been writing for about two months solidly on this.

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

It runs in parallel to Playing Dead in that respect. I haven't read anything like this which is what prompted me to start writing in the first place.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

I suppose in a way I'm still grieving for people I've lost this year and I'm writing what I wish could happen. There's a rule in Harry Potter - even with magic, you can't bring the dead back to life. I'm challenging that rule. Sorry JK. You know I lurve you though!

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

There's parts of my own family history in this, there are jealous boyfriends, evil stepfathers, trips to France, the dark depths of a normal hospital and a little bit of necrophilia. But good necrophilia not the bad necrophilia. That hasn't helped has it?

Never mind! Click on the names of these extraordinary literary ladies to get a taste of what's coming next from them

RW Shannon
Lisa G Riley
Marteeka Kartland
Janet Eckford
Nikki Winter


Monday, 17 December 2012

In the Amazon...

Best Laid Plans is now available on Amazon! And just before Christmas. I can see you all now, one hand on the turkey baster, the other on your Kindle. I've said this may be the last useful, literary thing I do before Christmas, because next week, if I take breath that doesn't involve wrapping paper, roasted potatoes, scallops, cranberry sauce, Morgan Spice, pine needles, cursing people on Oxford Street and wishing I had two minutes alone to write something, it will indeed be a Christmas miracle. Enjoy!

Best Laid Plans Amazon

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

At The End Of The Day...

Again, I went off grid a little bit. I was writing like a demon, then work that silly paid thing I have to do, got in the way and now it's the build up to Christmas, enjoying cheeky little flaming cocktails like the one above. In case you were wondering, it was delicious. Even if I did burn my nostril hair. I had my last wedding of 2012 this weekend and then, party to party, with this cold that is lingering like that dude that you know you shouldn't have had sex with but you did anyway and he's still in your bed talking about a fry up and you want to say "I don't cook" but you were boasting about it the night before then you say you need to throw up and he still doesn't take the hint? That sort of cold. Anyways! I thought I would be a little further on in the literary expanses. I've had four releases this year compared to nine last year. Nine. I know I had a two month break from work, but really? Nine? It took me a minute to remember:

  1. Windows
  2. @Last
  3. An Old Cake Tale
  4. On Caristo's Watch
  5. Said The Demon to Little Miss Eva
  6. Put Out the Zombie
  7. On Set
  8. Christmas Connection
  9. At Midnight

This bitch was bizaaaaaaaaay! But I was all flush with excitement and revelling in putting my work out for all to see and desire to lick. Each work I've released this year has been like waving goodbye to little parts of me.

  • The Claim was getting rid of all sorts of job/family/friend/black female guilt.
  • Starting Over was exercising the demon of the 'what if things had been different between us' guilt.
  • Playing Dead was all about having powers I wish I had to bring people back that I love and miss like hell every day. 
  • Best Laid Plans was an attempt - and that's what I'm sticking to - an attempt to accept that not everything that doesn't go exactly as my overly organised timetable demands is a bad thing. Everything happens for a reason. Trite, but true. 

I think the current WIP is still on the Playing Dead theme because its coming up to all sorts of anniversaries but what is life, but I am learning to enjoy the pauses and the dreams in between scenes that drift in and out of my mind. I want to put out a good book, because first and foremost, I write what I want to read. If I don't like it, you're not seeing it. (We're not talking about edits, because I don't like anything during edits. Hell, I hate the sight of my own name during edits. Fucking Billy, I tend to think. Why the fuck did you write this?). I don't rush anything, even if it seems to be quick, it's done because that's all there is to the story. It's complete as Hank has told me to find something else to do. So there may only be four releases from the mind of Billy London in 2012, but they are all works that I am very proud of.

Don't ask why I've bullet pointed stuff. I'm still in work mode. So back to the morgue for Billy (I'll explain in the next post. Promise.)