The Romance Reviews

The Romance Reviews

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Love Me Again

Day two of the season of love and one moves on to expectations behind the glory of Valentine's Day. Now I'm not saying I've done anything near what Eden does in this story, but... Yeah. Not answering that one. I dunno, there's something about this day that turns normally sane women into... AHS: Asylum inmates. Sister Jude, singing and dancing on tables in choreographed moves, insane. 

Undercover Love © Billy London

“Going for a shower, E,” Henry threw over his shoulder before disappearing into the bathroom, not even bothering to wait for a reply. Eden waited until the door was shut and the shower ran before she grabbed his phone. “Gimmie the goods,” she whispered, going first to where Henry organised his entire life.


Flowers - not those fkn expensive ones. Tesco does nice bunches for a tenner.

Chocolates - Waitrose is on the way from home. Not going to the poncy place in Selfridges.

New threads - I is worth it.

Not getting jewellery. Woman’s expectations far too high. Last ones I bought her she fkin exchanged them. Like I wouldn’t notice! I didn’t. I just heard her on the phone with her awful flatmate.

No jewellery? Eden thought, her lip curling in disgust. What the… Emails. He must have changed his mind. No way he could turn up to their dinner tomorrow and not give her something from somewhere that hopefully ended with either Garrad or & Co or Fennel.

Re: Le Monde
12 February 2014 15.29

Sorry mate, I really tried to get you a booking where Sarah and I had our party. They can give you a discount for the day before. Say you’ve got meetings for Valentine’s Day? She may buy that. Or here. Have a look at these. They’re the ones that Sarah said weren’t good enough. Your bird isn’t mentally unstable so... Give it a go.

Re: order confirmation order no 5897851
12 February 2014 16.05

Dear Henry,

Thank you for your glorious purchase. It’s fancy. We know because we made it. The details of your order are below. If anything is wrong, shoot us an email back and we’ll get it sorted.

Best wishes and enjoy.

Order No: 5897851

‘Klark’s Girl’ dress size 8 quantity 1 price £350.00

Subtotal: £350.00
P&P: £0.00
Grand Tota: £350.00
Promo code: NXTDYDELIV

Re: The Woman’s Terrible Choice In Music playlist
12 February 2014 20.58

Hello Henry, your friend wants to share this “The Woman’s Terrible Choice In Music” playlist with you. Download the link to play anywhere.

FW: Re: VD goodies
13 February 2014 10.07

No. No. No.
Don’t buy anything, don’t order anything, don’t arrange anything. No. I know this is the one day shit is forced upon me and I will get to it therefore I beg you on the fur of your aged cat, stop. Hassling. Me. About. It. If you don’t stop, you’re not getting anything. Not even a touch of the wang. I’m not even lying. Xh 

How disappointing. The information read all at once flattering and insulting. Good thing he’d ordered something from her favourite designer. Selene Reyce fitted her perfectly, whether she was having a bloat day or having a skinny day. Nothing on the jewellery. Terrible man. Why not? Two years! Eden sang louder than anyone to BeyoncĂ© but now Single Ladies shamed her each time it shuffled in her gym playlist. They’d talked marriage. Well Eden mentioned it and Henry changed the subject after declaring it was a one day party that often cost a person’s yearly salary. He wasn’t wrong about that but still. Eden’s father was limping worse than ever, his old knee injury had put a strain on his walking. How he’d be able to escort her down the aisle without a cane... Ooh maybe she could work canes into the wedding scheme. 

She was a girl who’d planned her big day on a daily basis. Her little wedding plan (directory) was stored under her bed with every little detail worked out. All she needed was the man to slip into the role. And while Henry Markham wasn’t perfect, he... He existed. Shared her meals, toothpaste and bed three times a week. She could bear his bodily odours and his commentary on her own weren’t entirely soul destroying. When she had fibroids, he was the one who’d taken her to the hospital, waited for the operation to be over, driven her home and waited on her hand and foot for her to recover. Henry made a damn good brunch, knew how to grill a tuna steak to perfection, knew when to leave chocolate in the fridge for her and when he could snap her knicker elastic for a good time. Honestly, the man knew her cycle better than she did. She supposed it was in his interest to know it better than she did. Wait, wait, wait. “Mum’s email address.”

13 February 2014 19.23

All this technology and I still can’t see why you couldn’t pick up a phone and call me...

“Because you and Dad live in Spain, Mum and it’s bloody expensive,” Eden murmured.

But I can be grateful that you did ask me and Mr. Castle before you sucked up any more of my daughter’s reproductive time. If you need to know anything else, do let me know. I doubt anyone knows my child as well as I do. 

Kind regards,

Pamela Castle

Wow, mum, Eden thought. If you’re advertising for mother in law, you failed that interview.

Just as she began to scroll down to see Henry’s message that prompted the email, a voice disturbed her. “Eden Castle that is not your phone.”
The phone flew out of her hand and landed with a cracking sound on her wooden floor. Tucking her hands under her bottom, she turned her head and sent her boyfriend a disarming grin. Wearing only boxer shorts, Henry Markham made quite a visual statement leaning in the doorway of her bedroom. 
“Why are you trawling through my phone?”
Well bugger it. “I wanted to know what you were getting me for Valentine’s Day.”
His voice lowered, his precursor to roaring at her. “Why?”
“So I wouldn’t do what I did last year which is get you something ridiculously expensive and you get me something from the clearance bin in Primark!” Henry started laughing, riling her temper. “It’s not funny you prick! That Formula One experience was expensive!”
“I hate driving. You shouldn’t have spent so much money on something Matt would have told you I despised.”
“Matt was the one who told me to buy it,” she said through her teeth. Henry laughed even harder. She sat back on the bed and folded her arms.
“Can I have my phone back now please?”
She wanted a hand towards the floor. “You can collect it.”
“You’re so rude. I’ve never known anyone so changeable.”
She blew a raspberry at him. “I just don’t worship you.”
He bent down to pick up his phone and started tapping away at the screen. “You would if we were talking the symbol Au.”
“I’m not that shallow,” she sniffed. Finished with the phone, Henry put it in his jacket pocket and perched on the bed, his arm braced against her thigh. He smelled good. Really good. Good enough that she considered biting his nipple good. And he liked it when she did that. “What do you want?” she asked as he continued to watch her, eyebrows arched like an owl’s.
“Say you’re sorry.”
She held up her hands defensively. “I’m just preserving my bank balance.”
Sighing, she tapped her feet impatiently. “Sorry.”
He curved his palm over her cheek, trailing his nose over her skin. “Like you mean it.”
“I’m sorry.”
He pecked her on the mouth and shifted her to the left side of the bed. “Good girl. As long as you act surprised when I propose tomorrow, we’ll be fine.” Her mouth fell open. He tugged the duvet to his chin and yawned heavily. “Night E.”
The bastard was double bluffing her, she thought. She’d rumbled him, no way he’d go through with it. Glancing down she looked at his hands. He’d had a manicure. Gaaah! She’d be an engaged woman on the cheesiest day on the planet. But engaged! 
“Henry,” she nudged him. “Look. The only way I’m going to sleep is if you bang it out of me.”
Through an almost incomprehensible yawn Henry pulled back the duvet. “Jump on then.”
Grimacing, Eden pulled her nightie over her head. “Don’t be so sure I’ll say yes tomorrow. You have an opportunity to earn it right now.”
Henry became alert. “Really? Your decision on whether to marry me or not is now reliant on my penis action?”
Eden leaned down, folding her arms on his chest. “Absolutely.”
He leaned up, dragging her against his torso. “As you wish madame.”

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