The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

It's Christmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas!! It's a comin'!! I cannot tell you how much I love this time of the year. I get to dress up in something unsuitable (low cut and short for the win), go to fancy parties, kiss people under the mistletoe (girl, boy, I don't discriminate especially if you're buff), I get to field nonsensical questions about my womb from relatives I don't speak to for eleven months of the year with an array of clapbacks that get more stinging the longer they think about it.
But best of all, I get to eat. EAT! Everything I can possibly imagine. Whatever I sodding well like. Bring the pate, bring the mince pies (I have had two today. I could go for three), the salted beef, the brandy cream poured over Christmas pudding, the gammon with crumbly cheese and apricot jam. It works, don't judge me. Stuffing! And all these delights come with a comatose-like rest after.
More importantly, Christmas is romance mecca, second to V-Day. So, it means I should get on with a few Christmas freebies on here. I won't make any Season of Love promises - especially not after NaNo wiped me out, but I will try to do my best to tide you over until the new year. There we are then! Food and sexy fumble spectacular! I'm hungry just thinking about it...