You Should See Me In A Crown

 I'm absolutely going to age myself here, but I remember watching Princess Diana's interview with Martin Bashir. I wanted to write to Princess Diana and assure her that she was loved by the people, especially me (who copied her at every possible opportunity). I never did and then she was dispatched. That was my opportunity to express my concern and appreciation for what she was doing gone. 

I was not going to let the same thing happen to the Duchess of Sussex. The racists were out in full force from the moment it was revealed Prince Harry was dating her. There was a pap picture of them at a wedding and the glee with which people were commenting I don't think he likes her very much. The way she's grabbing him and he's not interested! Oh he was interested alright. He married her. 

In the roar of claims that Meghan had made Kate cry, she was nicknamed the 'Degree Wife' and she worked a 'different' way to the rest of the royal household, it started to bite at me. I've been minding my Black business when I've been accused of being 'aggressive' of 'making people upset' of making changes that 'aren't appreciated'. I've worked since I was sixteen years old. There has never been a job where I haven't been outsted, belittled, undermined, harassed or accused of making other's feel small because I exist. 

A man was physically aggressive with me in my office but I was a problem for voicing my concern with his behaviour (I left that place and he tried to follow me by petitioning to my then boss that we had worked well together! Imagine! He didn't get the job thank God!)

A colleague said I was 'scary' because I told them exactly how they had fucked up and how that would damage not only me but the reputation of the business. 

I've been accused of being aggressive because I didn't mollycoddle yet another man as to how to do his job. Not my own - his. 

It is all that magical ingredient we call racism, and it is strong and pervasive as fucking garlic and yet, this country continues to question whether it exists, setting up roundtables of white people to judge the issue. 

I am very obviously Black. It's the second thing noticed, after my boobs (because like Lydia Caristo's boobs, they are fabulous). And that Blackness is never divided from anything I do, even if I express myself in the meekest way possible, it will always be twisted to suit a particular narrative because of said Blackness. The same playbook is being attempted on the Duchess and I'm actually glad it's being played on a global stage, so the world can see the madness this woman is having to endure. Prince Harry married the lightest, mixed race woman possible (I say this not to disparage or negate her Blackness but to confirm that no matter the shade the Blackness is always a “problem”) and the vitriol she's faced for the audacity of having a Black mother has been difficult and disgraceful to watch. So when she was still contactable through one of the many palaces, I wrote to her. I did what I wanted to do for Princess Diana and I told her over four pages of my Jo Malone scented printed stationary, how much she was appreciated, how proud I was of her for her work and her words and her ethics and she had my love. I won't share her response , but I still pick it up and read it every so often. 

There is no doubt in my mind that Meghan is a decent, worldly, intelligent and graceful woman. And in a world that makes a mission to humble such women, especially if they have a drop of colour in them, I can see the campaign against her for what it is. Utter nonsense. I hope you see it too. 

For this reaction, playing the 'bullying, terrible, Black woman' book to undermine the first time the Duke and Duchess are freely speaking about their years of madness, you know what they tried to do to Meghan was bad. Really bad. We saw her tears and despair in South Africa. We saw how protective Harry was and remains. So, in satin pyjamas and a cold glass of prosecco, I will be watching that interview with Oprah and be ready to petition for the end of the monarchy. No institution that campaigns against a woman of colour thereby telling citizens of the same hue that they are deserving of such a reaction when they are protecting a literal paedophile, deserves to remain. 

I want my money back, thank you.