Ageing like a fine wine...

I know Windows has been out for barely a week, but I need to mention the next one, for good reason. I watch Secret Diary of a Call Girl (long story, night out, a jump suit, red heels = escort card) and up popped Paul Nicholls! I mean good God, he's grown up! He has... facial hair! And tattoos! Paul Nicholls used to be in Eastenders, which is a BBC soap that's been on for 25 years and why after all the fires, explosions, car crashes, drug overdoses, murders, baby switching, gay Christians/Muslims/doctors/dogs would anyone want to live in Walford, East London I can only guess. I mention Eastenders because it's the show that my protagonists Ryan & Courtney bond over. *Mental note. Add Eastenders to new Glossary...*

Anyways, Paul Nicholls used to be in Eastenders. He was the first schizophrenic to be portrayed on national tv. His illness did have a sense of humour as when he set his school books on fire in the street, he slammed his bedroom door closed and played The Prodigy's Firestarter at full volume. Freakin' hilarious! Look at him then, all sweet and innocent. And look at him now [the one on the far left grabbing the blond with crazy sexy hair. That's Billie Piper. We share name only. And one or two tops. And that's it. I think...]

In Secret Diary he was all domineering and you know... yeah. Wow. Grown up. Is that all it takes? A bloke's voice to drop an octave, facial hair and; 'Do it or I'll make you do it'? There was a fire starting somewhere, when he came on screen I can tell you. Ooh lookie! Double double entendre!!

Billy In Wonderland

Ever so slightly hungover from my launch party, but feeling chirpy! It was so gorgeous of people to come and be 'you did what now?' and be all: 'where did Billy come from' [The answer to that is my younger brother taking the mick]. Most of all, I got to have this cake! It was sooo damn good! I ordered it from a company called londoncakes. I just emailed them the cover, and two hours later - that badass piece of baking was done! There's not much left of it now though :(

I had to save some for my Dad who was working. But he, a man who loves a bit of cake, was very impressed that I reserved a piece for him. That's daughterly love for you.

Visa says yes!

It's here! My book! All sparkling fresh and lots of it! I can remember exactly where I was when I wrote the last line of the first two parts (still nestling in the Literotica bosom). My mum was lighting a mosquito repellent candle on the balcony of our hotel room in Greece, while I was using my hefty silver cuff to weigh down the loose leaf paper as the sun was setting over the mountains. We were on our first girls only holiday together and it makes the book even more special that she was spelling out the word in Fanti for 'I told you so', before she poured me four fingers of seven year old Metaxa whisky. She then said to me, before we got rather giggly and hazy, "You should type that up when you get home. See how people like it."
I still don't think mum quite believes that I took her at her word. She will when she sees my launch party cake. That's going to be so freakin' sweet!

https://beautifultroublepublishing.com/xcart/Windows-EBOOK.html

Cover Drool

I still think this is incredibly surreal, but look at my cover! Don't you want to stroke that chest?! Kiss those lips?! And he's pretty hot too! Mini girl crush aside, I love it. This is my first book, my first baby and I honestly couldn't be more excited. I'm like a fat kid at a cake sale with all the money from my piggy bank. I'm sure Len's stopped cursing my name by now. (Too soon? Too soon.)

Valentine's Day... Da Canaveze style

Not really feeling Valentine's Day today. In the dark early evening, I just got totally freaked out by a man holding a single red rose, but making it look like he was holding a baseball bat. Totally off single red roses now. But it did get me thinking how the lush Nick Da Canaveze would celebrate Valentine's Day.

The dude is one for gestures out of leftfield... so would a few days off work as 'gifted' by your boss work for you? How about you get home and you've got to pack a little weekend case. And your passport. You're getting excited now aren't you? You have to get into a smooth black Mercedes which takes you to Heathrow (has to be Heathrow - better duty free shopping). You know when you go to duty free, you try not to buy anything because it'll eat into your spending budget? You don't have a spending budget, you can buy whatever you like. It's all on Da Canaveze. And you still don't know where you're going! Although you are in the first class lounge. Then the flight is called. To Venice! It has to be Italy, baby, that's his back yard. You can have a little thank you party in your plane seats. But mostly in the gondola that takes you to the hotel (don't rock the it too much, think about your hair!). That's right, you need a gondola to get to the hotel. And don't expect to see much of Venice outside your suite which is decked out like a Renaissance painting. That is how Nick does. Although, if you would be happy with a take away, a box of chocolates and something sappy on tv, he'd let that go too. Just about. You'd have to make it worth his while to not get on a plane. But Venice is a much better idea. Whatcha think? Venice? London? Venice... London....

*Venice

Pantene Ad moment

Now, I'll be an honest Billy and admit that I don't like long hair on men. I just don't. No man should have hair longer, lusher and more real (in real I mean what I did not buy in my local afro hair shop) than me. That is until Ben Barnes came along. I watched Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and I can't remember what happened. Seriously, anyone wants to ship me a synopsis, please do. Because I was watching this dude's hair. Look at it! Swishy, clean, glossy, gorgeously cut... I tell you what it reminds me of. I had a Barbie with lots of hair that I would brush out with glee. I would brush Ben Barnes' hair. I'd brush his hair all day and night...

More importantly, what do you think? Long hair yes? Long hair no?

Lahndan Tahnn

This city always surprises me. Lookie what I found! Well it's Morden, but hey. The tube gets there, so it means it's in London. I was walking in this park when my friend. We instantly imagined that were Elizabeth and Jane Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, and this park had been built for us by our super rich husbands (Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley). The fighting started as to who was Elizabeth and who was Jane. It was decided and the walk of bliss continued.

*I lost :(

Pretty on the outside

We're designing the cover! Argh! *Dance of Joy*

It makes it all real now that Windows is actually getting published. It's very, 'say what?!'

We just need to turn the heat up some more and I'm all good with it. You do this as well, I know you do. You look at the guy on the front of a book while you're reading? Don't you? Don't you! Admit it. There's no shame in it. Truthfully, you only bought the book because the guy on the front had a twelve pack, silky hair and looked like he would ruin you for hours and hours and when you figured you couldn't take any more, he would just ruin you all over again in twenty three positions you never thought you'd ever get into but you do, because he makes you! Yeah... covers... men... hot... drool....

Going to have a cold shower now.

Nothing like Olivia Palermo

Jayha said editing is like boot camp. It's not. It's worse. It's torture with a full stop moved in twenty different places. The Red One would have ended up against the wall if I didn't love it. It's my baby. Then I found my zen. I want this story to be perfect. I hate it at the moment. But I want it to be perfect so you don't say, 'Massive plot hole there, woman.' or Miss Bibbins forgive me, 'That's spelled wrong.'

I will put up with it. I will not throw a princess fit. I will remember that I am an adult. And I do recognise that Olivia Palermo's job is nothing like this, and to be honest? That skinny mini does sod all.